Wow I just found this in my drafts. I wrote this last month. I was so delusional to ever think talking to him would do anything but bring me down. I am so much happier without all the crazy bullshit!
I don’t even know where to begin. I was fine with the way P and I left things on Tuesday. I got answers and closure. Basically he said he is now experiencing the horrible sadness, loneliness and pain that I did when we broke up. Except while mine got better, his is getting worse.
Wednesday I honestly wish I had just ignored him. I hadn’t slept much the night before and was not expecting further contact. I think he was embarrassed for crying the day before because he was weird. He kept alternating between asking me if we could ever be together and trying to make me think I still wanted to be with him because I love him so much. When I said I used to love him past tense, he said he’s not ready to leave and he has hope she can change and be affectionate. It took me back to November and I actually started crying.
The most important part is that I have to find a way to tell my husband that I spoke to P. Knowing that I was getting prepared to leave him back in November devastated him. His greatest fear is that I will go back to P and leave. I see now how completely selfish and disrespectful it was to speak to him.
I will continue to go where the love is.