A friend of mine was upset because she thinks her ex doesn’t care about her anymore. She also thinks she’s stupid for missing him. I tried to explain to her that feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. Trying to stop feeling something is like trying to stop the rain, virtually impossible. But it started me thinking and here’s my question to all those getting over a broken heart.
Does it really matter what he or she thinks of you now? I know in the beginning, when the heartache is fresh, it absolutely does. But as you start to heal your heart and get stronger, who cares what the idiot that wasn’t smart enough to hold onto you thinks?
P doesn’t believe I’m better and happy. WTF?!? He actually thinks because we were so much in love that I’m just saying that! Which tells me two things:
- He never knew me as well as I thought he did because I really don’t lie about how I feel, good or bad. In fact the other day, a few things he said made me sad and I cried. But that was for just a few minutes. Like my Mom, I feel things deeper than most. This can be a blessing and a curse 🙂
- He wants to believe I am still pining for him because then we are in the same boat. In his very warped mind, there is still hope for us if he ever leaves. I did everything possible to explain to him that while the love we shared was something rare and special and I was absolutely ready to share a life with him, it no longer exists. And guess what? I just don’t care if he doesn’t get it.
I’m sorry that doesn’t jive with where he is, but who the fuck cares? Where was he in December, January and February when I was on the edge of the fucking cliff? That’s right, he was kissing her frigid ass and being stalked by his really crazy Mom.
So let him KEEP kissing her ass and stay the fuck away from mine!
I’m good and strong and hopeful. Not every single day but most lately.
And for someone with Depression, that is all you can ask for. I am really happy about that.
Ok, I wrote this a few days ago and unfortunately I have taken a few steps backwards. But I am back to no contact and am going to beat my addiction by taking it one day at a time. Thank you for not throwing tomatoes, eggs or anything. Is is greatly appreciated 🙂