Does It Really Matter?

A friend of mine was upset because she thinks her ex doesn’t care about her anymore. She also thinks she’s stupid for missing him.  I tried to explain to her that feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are.  Trying to stop feeling something is like trying to stop the rain, virtually impossible. But it started me thinking and here’s my question to all those getting over a broken heart.

Does it really matter what he or she thinks of you now? I know in the beginning, when the heartache is fresh, it absolutely does.  But as you start to heal your heart and get stronger, who cares what the idiot that wasn’t smart enough to hold onto you thinks?

P doesn’t believe I’m better and happy. WTF?!? He actually thinks because we were so much in love that I’m just saying that! Which tells me two things:

  1. He never knew me as well as I thought he did because I really don’t lie about how I feel, good or bad. In fact the other day, a few things he said made me sad and I cried. But that was for just a few minutes.  Like my Mom, I feel things deeper than most.  This can be a blessing and a curse 🙂
  2. He wants to believe I am still pining for him because then we are in the same boat. In his very warped mind, there is still hope for us if he ever leaves. I did everything possible to explain to him that while the love we shared was something rare and special and I was absolutely ready to share a life with him, it no longer exists. And guess what?  I just don’t care if he doesn’t get it.

I’m sorry that doesn’t jive with where he is, but who the fuck cares? Where was he in December, January and February when I was on the edge of the fucking cliff? That’s right, he was kissing her frigid ass and being stalked by his really crazy Mom.

So let him KEEP kissing her ass and stay the fuck away from mine!

I’m good and strong and hopeful. Not every single day but most lately.

And for someone with Depression, that is all you can ask for. I am really happy about that.

Ok, I wrote this a few days ago and unfortunately I have taken a few steps backwards. But I am back to no contact and am going to beat my addiction by taking it one day at a time.  Thank you for not throwing tomatoes, eggs or anything.  Is is greatly appreciated 🙂

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55 thoughts on “Does It Really Matter?

  1. Miss Evelyn says:

    That’s such a revelation you have written here. The not giving or caring attitude you have when he was too busy with his own life. Don’t worry we can’t throw tomatoes via blog. We can only throw hugs, kisses, smileys 🙂

    Like

  2. Ned's Blog says:

    Certainly no egg or tomato thowing is warrented here, Emma. And the two steps forward-one step back is normal until you eventually reach the point when the forward momentum is enough to keep you heading away. It just takes time. I don’t talk about it much, but my ex-wife left me and our two children on my 40th birthday almost nine years ago. I’ve been incredibly happily remarried for almost seven years now (which I DO talk about quite often) but it took me a while to get my momentum back. The first sign that I was ready to move forward was the realization that I honestly didn’t care what she thought or, more importantly, who she was with. Once that happened, I wasn’t taking any steps backward and — Yep, that’s when I met my wife. It will happen for you soon, Emma. Not only because you possess the strength and wisdom, but also because you’re too special for someone to overlook once you start moving forward for good. That’s the kind of momentum that will carry you into prefect sync with the right person 😉

    Like

  3. KcRambles says:

    That is all you can do. Take on day at a time. And the NC is the only way to ensure you get over him and move fwd in your life and give your marriage a fighting chance. I think whatever your x believes or not is irrelevant… Keep working on you and your life.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. bipolarsojourner says:

    I must be smart because i have some of the same thoughts you have.

    feelings just are. i like that and try to spread that message. most of the time i meet resistance. have you ever notice how people are willing to join in the celebration on pick-me-up emotions but when it comes bring-me-down emotions the run away like it’s the plague or they try to change it as soon as they hear about it? amazing.

    on feeling deeping, I worte about that a few weeks ago. here’s my take on feeling deeply.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. angelmorals says:

    I had a friend tell me the other day when I did the No contact tell me men just do not want to know that you are going on with your life. They want to believe we are at home crying over them so what did I do. I continued to enjoy my friends and go out. Of course, when he texted I made it clear I was out… that’s the worse you can do… is to let them know you moved on.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. itsjustme1986 says:

    One day at a time is all you can hope for hun xx be strong you will get through it and you lnow what if he couldnt be the supportive guy you needed then who gives a damn what he wants or what he feels he is an asshole and will get whats his.. Karma she likes assholes lol

    Liked by 1 person

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