Kicking the Habit- Dealing with Affair Withdrawal

I found this article online

After ending an affair, one can expect to have intense withdrawal symptoms for about three weeks, and you may continue to feel some symptoms for up to six months, but they should gradually diminish in intensity and frequency over this time period.

During this time, you are in a vulnerable position. Like an addict, you might be tempted to use your favorite drug again. You might be tempted to contact your affair partner again to help calm the force of your withdrawal symptoms.

Doing so is a little bit like a heroin addict in recovery who says they are “just going to do a little hit to make the pain go away.” This is clearly a terrible idea. If you do this, it is likely you will be tempted to start using again, end up back in the affair, and undo all the difficult work you have done up to this point.

Do not attempt to contact your affair partner as this will destroy your relationship. Instead, reinvest in repairing your relationship.  This is liable to be difficult as well, particularly if you have just informed your partner about the affair.

If you are talking to your spouse at all, it is likely that your communication is negative and difficult. It is unlikely that you will be getting a great deal of positive feedback from him/her at this point and this is bound to make you feel emotionally disconnected. This could worsen your withdrawal symptoms.

Remember that you are going through this painful time for a reason: you want to heal your relationship. You can look at this difficult period as a necessary step to straightening out the mess you have made of your relationship. Like an addict, there may be a period of time in which you suffer.

Going through that is the first step to putting your life and relationship back on the right course. Keep in mind that when you maintain the course of recovery through this rough period of getting over an affair, the reward can be a relationship that is better than you ever dreamed.

I can honestly say now that my marriage is getting better with each passing day.  Today for the first time in a very long time, I actually felt that high talking to M, my husband!!  It was after I had the intense craving to contact P.  Hearing how happy M was to talk to me and how much he was looking forward to spending the weekend together gave me that feeling I have been missing for so long.  

There have been so many days where I thought we couldn’t possibly make it and I didn’t want to.  I know that there will be more and that’s okay.  As long as there are good days too, we can get through anything.  

Go where the love is.

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