by Brigitte
It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but it’s even more painful to hold on to them if they never wanted to stay in the first place. If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either. The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs.
For me, this has been one of the lessons I have had the most trouble adhering to. It’s so simple and true. But yet, my heart just kept trying. I’m a pretty intelligent person who has never taken crap from any guy. So why did I try so hard to hold on to our relationship? He made me believe in him and us. But it wasn’t reality. It was self-destructive to have any contact with him at all. Why do I keep letting him back in my life and in my heart? What was it about him that I responded so deeply to? It scares me that I gave my heart and soul to someone who was so wonderful, who said he felt the same and then showed the opposite.
I honestly became addicted to him and his love, needing more and more to feel good.
One of the hardest things for love addicts experiencing a break up is breaking their denial. Denial is the PRIMARY psychological symptom of addiction. Denial is one of the reasons that recovery from love addiction isn’t effective. You cannot overcome a problem unless you come to fully accept that it exists. Denial comes in the form of:
-Ignoring how unhealthy the relationship actually was
-Believing getting back the relationship will solve the problems.
-Convincing yourself, it will “be different” next time.
-Not accepting the relationship is over.
-Believing the avoidant partner can be someone different from he or she is.
-Holding on to the fantasy you created from the beginning of the relationship.
-False hope that you can fix things.
I have to accept my powerlessness over my love addiction and the chaos and unmanageability it has brought into my life.
I know P is not a bad man, he’s actually pretty sweet. He’s just not good for me and that’s what matters.
You’re right..I decided to let go of the person I loved, when I finally realised that he no longer wanted me in his life, for reasons whatever. It is still difficult when he still have feelings for the person, and feel perhaps he still does too..but the truth is probably that he doesn’t care at all anymore.
Thanks for following my blog..and I hope to learn to let go too like you..
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It is extremely difficult and it takes time to heal. You will let go when you’re ready. Be well xo
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Awesome read, blown away
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Thnx! What blew u away? Lol
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Deep insight. Loved it. It hurts but that’s life. You accept it and move on.
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Thank you! It’s the moving on part I get stuck with lol.
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Haha we all do get stuck there. Road is murky there. :p
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Yes it is lol
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Sounds like your working through your pain…its hard to give up something you want and crave….but believe me one day you will wake up and wonder what you have been doing to yourself……
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I already have moments like that. He is a kind person, but I am beginning to realize it isn’t about him. It’s about me, my ego and an overwhelming addiction to how being with him made me feel.
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you need to work on finding that feeling from yourself…he didn’t make it happen, he might have been some of the reason you felt great, nut ultimately it came from your inner soul…mediation might help or inner soul searching…trust me sister its never about the man…LOL
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Absofrigginlutely! Thnx. I am a total beginner at meditation lol.
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Thank you!
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Love this post… Really helped me to read this , thank you
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Thank you. It hurts n it sucks but I have to stay away. It’s the only way.
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Good post! Thanks for sharing this. I had a little quote last year ‘If nothing changes, nothing changes’. It’s so easy to be drawn back in only to find yourself in the same situation again and again. Love addiction. It sucks.
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Yes! It happens so easily. But I’m back to no contact and picking myself up and trying to moving on.
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