I opened the door to P a few weeks ago via FB messenger and at first it was a good thing I THOUGHT. I got closure and it helped to know he had also suffered. But since then it has been very difficult to keep the door closed. I take responsibility for allowing myself to get sucked back in. Not even as an affair because there has been nothing like that. Last week we left off with him saying he will call me when he is separated. But that’s crap. He has stayed in an unhealthy abusive relationship with a frigid, phony narcissist for way too long. As a result, both of his kids have issues.
His daughter’s therapist said this is the first time she has not only NOT met a child’s Mother but that Mom hasn’t even called to see how her daughter is doing! She said it’s great P cares but her Mom needs to be a lot more involved in her daughter’s life and therapy. Where does this vapid narcissist choose to spend her time? No, not with her kids. At the gym 7 days a week for the last 4 months.
I realized if he really was a good father, he would see the destruction her complete lack of empathy has caused both his kids, especially his daughter and he would have done something. She is a 13 year-old nasty, rude, manipulating, compulsive liar and a bully that no one wants to be around. If it was a hormonal phase, fine I get it but this has been going on n getting much worse for almost 4 years (I met P 2 years ago). By doing nothing to change the situation, he enables it and makes it okay. So she keeps getting worse. Because she learned years ago, negative attention from her Mom is better than no attention. He has had to ask his Mom and sisters to spend time with her! But whenever there’s a photo op, there so so is with a big, fake smile. It hurts my heart and I just have to forget about it because there is nothing I can do.
As much as we loved one another, do I really want a man capable of such deep denial? No I don’t. If he could ignore what school officials have been telling him for years, that his daughter needs a tremendous amount of help, there’s little hope. She is only in counseling as a condition of her probation to getting into a catholic high school next year.
So after thinking all this through, yesterday I told him no he couldn’t call me. I said good luck but NOT to contact me if or when he ever gets the balls to stop being a doormat and leaves. Then I blocked him via phone, FB and all social media sites.
Yes I am a love addict and I need to have absolutely no contact with him at all. I wish him well but now it’s done.
I am going to a picnic and spending the rest of the weekend with my husband and family. I’m going where the love is and I am happy.