Find Someone

Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.
~Unknown

I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even possible to have love and passion. Chemistry is so random and that sucks. My Husband is a great guy and so very good to me. So why the hell can’t I be as attracted to him as I was to P? It makes no sense! Uggh

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60 thoughts on “Find Someone

  1. eggertl2 says:

    Leave “P” out side. Block all thoughts of him. This means trusting yourself that you are committed to your husband. Trust that you have control over your own feelings. Grieve if you must over a perceived loss (p) but set a time limit say, two days. All of the comments here are good too. Once you start on the road don’t detour.. You are NOT alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmagc75 says:

      For the first time in months, I am able to block a lot of thoughts of him. Actually I’m starting to feel like I was temporarily insane lol. If he would choose to stay with that really poor excuse for a woman n mom n spend most of his life alone with the kids, why the hell would I want him???? That just seems insane.

      Like

  2. angelmorals says:

    You just need to find that spark that you once had. It takes a lot of hard work but I do know several married couples that been together for over 40 years and they are still discovering their sexual side. I was surprised when my 60 + old friend, surprised her husband by renting a room in a nice hotel and having rope and blindfold to spice up the night. She claims that sometimes you just have to take charge and spice it up otherwise you will lose it… so don’t give up!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. platosgroove says:

    I think that it is so much deeper than flesh. Though I love the naked part when its right. My experience has been that I sought the answers outside myself in people, ambition, adverture, etc and no matter how much I succeeded in some pursuit in the end it was empty. It seems to me that there is nothing outside myself that can finally answer those longings. It was/is my own neglected and rejected Soul calling for my attention. She appears in dreams and in my desire that is reflected back to me from the outside. If you were to read my scribbling you will see me having a conversation with Her or talking about She. Though the poetry can be read on many levels to understand where I’m coming from read it knowing I am having a conversation with my own self. There is a poet along with many others named Rumi who speaks of the Beloved. It is ultimately to Her I write. The greeks thought of the Soul as feminine for the male and male for the woman. I’m no teacher so I hope I have not overstepped or overstayed my welcome. Just my thoughts. Be Groovy! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmagc75 says:

      Thank you, that is a very interesting line of thought. I agree about finding happiness and fulfillment within myself, not expecting others to “make me happy”. I have always been incredibly self-aware. But how does what you are talking about figure into physical intimacy with a spouse or partner?

      Liked by 1 person

      • platosgroove says:

        Do an experiment. Write an intimate love poem to Him. All of the longing and desire and passion within you. Only this time do it with a conscious awareness that you are writing to you the source of all the longing. It is not a thing that one can “figure” out. The mind and the intellect some times are the very thing that keeps one split in two.

        Liked by 1 person

      • bipolarsojourner says:

        physical intimacy can be difficult to impossible to achieve on your own. i believe this is one time where physical well being is best as a open sharing process between two people. physical intimacy is so much better with a loved one.

        q: not to get all dr. ruth on you, but when’s the last time you talked about what physical intimacy means with your loved one? a free flowing two way sharing of ideas? you know what brings you happiness physically and that’s a good thing. does your loved one know? you might of talked about it before, but maybe things have been forgotten or things have changed. by knowing and communicating what brings physical happiness and fulfillment to each other, you’ll be that much closer to achieving it.

        i understand that you’ve lived in a sexless relationship, but try to find a way to insure you can be physically happy and fulfilled. sure, it might take some work on both parts, but in the end, it will create a stronger relationship.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. bipolarsojourner says:

    you asked, so here’s my two bits,

    i wonder how much wanting to have what is not yours plays into it. you have your husband. he’s a known. He’s willing to take of you. how boring.

    p is full of new stuff to discovery. some of the stuff would be fun/interesting; others might challenge your well being. that creates excitement, for that reason.

    what to fall head over hills for your husband, again? the challenge is to somehow set up a relationship with husband that you had with p. find a way not to be bored with him. find ways to discover new stuff in him. find ways to ways to make your relationship exciting again. it might be a challenge, but isn’t marital relationship, ever with its unknowns worth it? if the answer is yes, in the the words of jean-luc picard, “make it so!”

    it doesn’t have to be extravagant or difficult. how about a date night? my wife and i added some spark to our relationship by setting aside a night for game night. make it fun and keep changing things up. cards and board games are standards. how about a game of war? learn the card game pounce. learn new games, play old stand bys. how about a game of chutes and ladders? I picked up pickup sticks and tiddlywinks for under $20 on amazon. additionally, there are plenty of games on amazon for under $10. perhaps, get something you’ve never played before. having fun once a week with your husband can help clear the cobwebs and remind you of what you saw in him in the first place.

    good luck. we’re all counting on you. 🙂

    yoooooooouuuu can do it! sometimes, in a relationship, sparks don’t just happen; there needs to a be a catalyst. I challenge you to become the creator of sparks for your marriage!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. complicatedlove239 says:

    it sucks to have mr. right in front of you but still have this obsession/love with someone else. the only thing i can say is to remember that the grass is not only greener. i was in ur same boat until my marriage was almost down the toilet. now i appreciate and love my husband as if we were still in our honeymoon state! i had to almost loose him to realize he was the most important person to me and no other person can come close to what i feel for him.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Tessa says:

    Most of life doesn’t make sense if you ask me. I find it hard to believe in love. I had a loveless, horrible marriage and he would be shocked to hear that because he thought it was great. I am glad he found someone else and I am now free of that fiasco. I only married him because he threatened to kill himself if I didn’t. I couldn’t handle that then. I was just 18 years old and 19 when we married. Plus I though nobody liked me, let alone would every marry me. Been divorced for 15 years after 23 years of marriage and 3 children.

    Liked by 3 people

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