Sometimes Goodbye Is The Only Thing Left To Say

I have thought long and hard about us P. I really believe it’s not what you want or will ever want. I don’t know if you are just too damaged from years of abuse n manipulation or you’re brain is too addicted to the cycle of abuse. Yes it changes your brain like porn does so that you crave the narcissistic abuser.

All I know is yes we had a very special and deep love once. But it’s been 7 long months and you were ready, willing and able to put that love, the only real love u ever had, in a box. That’s unforgivable and it hurt me way too much. 

You are addicted to thinking u love a manipulative, selfish narcissistic woman who can never and will never be capable of real love, affection or intimacy. That is not going to make you happy but it will make you miserable. 

I know now that whatever we had or could’ve had is over and dead. You actually said u wished I was 35!?! What the hell is wrong with you? Oh yes let me keep waiting for you to get your head out of your ass for a few more years lol. NO!!!!!

I actually had this nightmare of you finally leaving and then months later telling me you need to date other women your Mom set you up with. And I realized if I’m not the woman in your heart now? Then I never will be nor do I choose to be someday in the future. 

I choose (Hubby) 100% now and forever. He is what I want and what I need. He is stable and doesn’t mentally abuse me. He adores me. Get it? You are very damaged and I feel so sorry about that. But you had the love of a good woman n you chose to crawl back to a bad one. 

Now you are free to live an unsatisfying life full of childish games, tricks, and manipulations. Or you can find the strength, determination and backbone I always believed you had and free yourself once and for all from this pathetic excuse for a marriage.  Either way I wish you well but I do not want you in my life for any reason or at any time.

I know it will hurt a little and I do miss you but it is what is best for ME. Please do not respond to this message. I don’t want to continue any sort of relationship of any kind with you. Respect my wishes and stay away permanently. You destroyed what we shared and there is absolutely nothing left to salvage. All you did in the end was hurt me over and over again. THAT is NOT LOVE it’s sick!

I am going where the love is. Love, not suffering. My man loves me and he loves that I talk, write and think too much. He values me and that is what makes me happy. I was wrong about us and wrong about you. I thought you were stronger and that you would love me and we would be so happy together touching feet. I hope you find that simple love again one day. 

And I hope you find a woman who can accept all your issues, problems, quirks, anxieties and love them like I did once. Because they were a part of you and I loved each fussy, hairy inch lol. I hope you feel like you’re home when you are inside her like you did with me. 

I even loved your kids because they were the most important thing to you. I wanted to show (daughter) she could be loved for who she is inside and show her she would never be abandoned even though her Mom is different and not like loving, caring Moms and that she was ok and it had NOTHING to do with her. I wanted to discuss literature and philosophy with (son). And I love board games.

This is the last contact I will have with you. I do not want to speak to you, see you, or even hear your name again. You have made your bed so lie in it. If you love me please just let me go!

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18 thoughts on “Sometimes Goodbye Is The Only Thing Left To Say

  1. sonofabeach96 says:

    Sorry, I know I said just one question, but I have another: does he have access to this blog? If so, don’t feed his ego by continuing to bemoan the loss of something that you never really had. Stop, redirect your energy toward what’s real.

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmagc75 says:

      Funny you should ask. He has recently found it (yes I know only took the rocket scientist 7 months when he knows my email address lol). So hell no, no bemoaning. Oh I had it, I just wasn’t willing to manipulate him to keep it. Manipulation isn’t love. I am all about going where the love is my friend. Thnx!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. sonofabeach96 says:

    Stay on the clock! Just one question though: would you have left your husband for him? Don’t know the whole story. Sounds like maybe you would have. Hope that fog has lifted for you now. Stay on the right path.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. HeavyCloud says:

    I assume he’s tried to get in touch again. What you wrote means a good step ahead for you, but it’s still FOR him. There is still so much anger, Emma. Don’t feed it.Those kind of hate feelings can be as strong and blinding as love itself. By the way you know you can rely on us in case of need. Take care of yourself, HC

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmagc75 says:

      It’s for him to NEVER contact again, no matter what. Of course I’m angry. I realized part of me has been waiting! That’s pathetic n upsetting. I have never in all my life waited for any guy. I refuse to be that kind of woman. Thank you. I appreciate your support 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • HeavyCloud says:

        You’re welcome Emma. In love things waiting is a part of the game, unless you find that it’s not worth it. When you stop waiting, there is kind of a hole to fill in, I hope that your love for your family will help. All my warmest wishes and a hug.

        Like

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