Narcissistic Parents – The most harmful kind of parent

What would you call a woman who spends hours at the gym everyday perfecting her Arnold Schwarzenegger looking body but has yet to meet or call her daughter’s therapist of 3 months? It’s just sad and pathetic!

living in stigma

This well-written article is from::  Gerald Schoenewolf, Ph.D. on PsychCentral.com/Psychoanalysis Now (blog)

Over the years I have often been asked what is the most harmful thing a parent can do to a child. There are many harmful things a parent can do, too many to point out. It is easier to focus on the kind of parent that does most harm.

The most harmful parents are the parents who have a narcissistic need to think of themselves as great parents. Because of this need, they are unable to look at their parenting in an objective way. And they are unable to hear their children’s complaints about their parenting.

Such parents indoctrinate their children from an early age to think of their parents in only the most positive ways. Any other kind of thinking is considered family treason. If any of their children develop behavioral problems, they see such problems…

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36 thoughts on “Narcissistic Parents – The most harmful kind of parent

    • emmagc75 says:

      She is but because she’s a covert narcissist, she had people fooled for far too long. Those poor kids, especially the daughter. Her therapist says she’s petrified her Mom will abandon her 😦

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      • sonofabeach96 says:

        As long as I live, I will never understand how some people can put themselves before their kids. I grew up with one myself. Hell, sometimes I felt as though I was raising myself. My mom is still all about herself, guess she always will be. I have a great deal of empathy for any kid being subjected to that sort of neglect.

        Liked by 1 person

        • emmagc75 says:

          So so has a very close relationship with her niece n takes her everywhere, not the daughter. She acts like it doesnt bother her but c’mon of course it effects her! At 13 she is rude, nasty, lies compulsively, a bully n no catholic hs would take her. 1 finally agreed but on probation n with mandatory counseling. It’s funny cause I was a hormonal pain in the ass at that age. My parents showed the patience of a saint but strongly disciplined me. But if I lied to them? Omg no way lol. The window is closing for this little girl n neither parent are making any changes.

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          • sonofabeach96 says:

            That’s sad. Hopefully once the brooding teenage years are over and she becomes an adult she will see it as her parents have the problem, not her. Took me years to figure that one out myself. It’s a shame but any idiot can become a parent but not all are capable or willing to be a mom or a dad.

            Liked by 1 person

            • emmagc75 says:

              Do u ever get over knowing your parent is unable to love u in a real, meaningful way? P kisses n hugs her a lot to make up for so so’s lack of care n concern. Except when she looks bad then she cares.

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              • sonofabeach96 says:

                Well, I did, sort of. Still affects me now and I’m 46. But not because of myself, I’ve grown apathetic to it in terms of ME. What bothers me now is the way they’ve missed out on the joy of having grand kids and how my kids don’t truly know their grandparents. My mom does stuff with them but I think it’s more so she can brag to her friends. Dad is 8 hours away and largely absent. But he did that to me too. Getting changes ones perspective though and, like your un-copyrighted phrase, I learned to go where the love is! 😉
                She probably will too someday and they’ll be left out in the cold.

                Liked by 1 person

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