I just read an article that stated that 1 in every 5 marriages is sexless! They define sexless as having sex less that 4 times a year. Um 4 times a year seems like an improvement to our stats the previous 5 years lol.
Seriously who doesn’t like sex???
I have always been a huge fan of sex. For me it was always an important part of a relationship. Granted I have had relatively fewer partners than most women my age (6). But in a loving, committed relationship I felt free to explore and I enjoy trying new things. I enjoy exploring multiple times a day lol.
So to have no sex for a few years? I’m probably lucky I didn’t end up in a padded room. I was so unhappy and felt completely ugly and constantly rejected.
It also helps with my depression and is necessary to my happiness.
Even though we are currently having sex, it’s still not as easy as it was with P. He and I could discuss anything and everything without being awkward or uncomfortable. There’s a distance there with H that while improving slowly, still very much exists. I have no idea why. Since I am open and honest, it must be coming from hubby.
Sometimes I think he got used to using porn and jerking off for so many years before we even met. But we dated for 4 years before we got married and the sex was great! I wouldn’t have said yes if it wasn’t.
I’ve been looking for a good sex therapist in our area and will make some calls tomorrow. He has to be ready, willing and able. He says he is, so hopefully this will help.
It does not nor will it ever excuse cheating. But it’s a sad fact that life isn’t black and white. I know now that an affair wasn’t the answer for me. I also know that as stupid and naive as it seems, we fell deeply in love. It’s not easy to find everything you need in one person. I really thought I had but obviously that wasn’t enough.
I will continue to work to have the marriage I need to be happy but I will never again go months or years without physical love and intimacy. No matter how much I love someone. Life is too short not to be happy, enjoyed and loved.
Just had to scroll back to gain some history on your situation Emm. Seriously great post! Thanks so much for the honest insights into your life and I really do wish you the best. Hoping something will work out for you.
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Thanks, I’m definitely rescheduling our therapy appt this week.
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We generally manage to have sex once a month. Would like to have more, but only manage to get him to agree to sex around once during a month.
The problem is that I only have 2 weeks after my medicine infusion that I have decent control over my body. Having multiple sclerosis and being on Tysarbi sort of limits your choices, unfortunately.
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I have to agree sex is important and I haven’t got laid in months! š¦ You’ll know from my blog I used to see escorts (def of expensive prostitutes) and like you I crave a sex life, I think what I need is a sex buddy but again there’s no connection.
Oh yes porn! I was going to say that’s interesting he was a great user of porn, personally I cannot stand pornography, not on moral grounds each to their own, no I find porn tedious boring and I’d rather read a book than watch 2 people copulating so conversely maybe you are right because I no longer masturbate which worries me I’ll also agree a lack of sex does cause depression and unhappiness, well I haven’t bin laid in months and I’m gagging for it lol!
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Sorry to hear ur not getting any either Andrew. But I need sex, love, passion and intimacy. I’m not going to accept a sexless marriage any longer.
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I may be (probably be š ) over-stepping a mark, but I will anyway, here’s an opinion of a genuine fellow blogger and all. There is nothing wrong saying NO to a sexless marriage, sex IS part of a marriage contract or what’s the point. š
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Nope u aren’t overstepping at all. It always helps to have our feelings validated. So thank you! I agree and I am definitely saying NO. Hugs to u xo
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You go girl !! IĀ“m all for sex. Actually my own mother called me a man whore….I just responded I suffer from OCF or Obsessive Compulsive Flirt. Plus my ex girlfriend as mean as she was, that girl was a ninphomaniac, 4-6 times a day, not kidding. Eventually she spread that number with other guys, so out she went or better said out I went. But yes, sex is important in a relationship. We are humans, is in our DNA
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I used to call my bro a man whore in his 20s lol. It is really important! Thnx
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Well he was in his 20Ā“s, IĀ“m 32!!! This is a problem……
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Well he was kind of a manwhore until he met my sister-in-law lol. She gets soooo pissed when I call him that LOL.
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Sorry for the late response.
No wonder she getĀ“s pissed, youĀ“re mean…..making your brother suffer like that, he probably later on gets a mouth full from his wife
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Lol yeah I can’t say it anymore š¦
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Good, your brother the MAN, laid down the rules and you the woman, abide by them. Just like the taliban except you get to read and write.
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Ur an idiot lol
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But a cool one and nice looking I should add. YouĀ“d probably throw yourself at me if you ever saw me, clinging to my feet and not wanting to separate from me. I know you!!!!!
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Throw myself at you? LMAO I’ve never thrown myself at anyone dude. Just not who I am š
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Wait and see….
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Um never ever going to happen lol
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Yes it will, where there is a will there is a way š
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Lol nope
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yup
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Keep dreaming lol
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š zzzzzzzz, IĀ“m snoring now and dreaming and now……I can feel youĀ“re getting closer š wink wink
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LMAO š
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You wonĀ“t laugh much when…..you knooow ?!!!! š
Damn, IĀ“m winking again, maybe I have a twitch in the eye or something
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When I know what exactly? Lol
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That IĀ“m a jewel, itĀ“s just that I have to be polished a little bit.
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I’m sure you are lol. So find someone to polish u š
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I already have a few, but none that are really worth it
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A few? So ur still a Manwhore? Oh yes plz where do I sign up LMAO!!!
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IĀ“m not a manwhore IĀ“m a humanitarian. IĀ“m just spreading the love to humanity, the female part of humanity that is. They should actually give me some type of prize. Like the Nobel peace price, you do know that after sex people are more calm so eventually I would prevent crime and long lasting relationships. Told you, I do it for the benefit of humanity.
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Na, I actually I have fun. If you canĀ“t keep up with it, not my fault. You could just say “Charly, stop it” but cut the crap dude, what the fuck is that shit. Out and donĀ“t piss me off believe me.
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Wow! Charly, did I hit a nerve or are you pmsing?? LOL I just meant I have sandals on, not boots. So I didn’t want to step into the shit you were trying to spread Mr. Nobel Laureate. And with you being a humanitarian and all, I didn’t think you would mind being called on your bullshit lol. Don’t forget I was the only one to tell you about the typo. And why would I want to piss you off silly? I like you, you make me smile š
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š @ OCF
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You liked the OCF thing? Well I did have to come up with some witty response to the manwhore thing š
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what about h. up-bringing? Mary’s parent’s were sexually conservative. that keeps our sexual exploration limited.
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Sexually conservative in-laws? TMI lol.
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hey! admit it. You have a set yourself! š
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I really don’t know lol. My parents were open with us.
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as i’m sure you know, it takes two to tango.
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That I do. Then the stork brings the baby right? Lol
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She asked me to take her back a couple of years after our divorce. I was not interested. All trust was gone plus any interest in her sexually. In your case if your husband had cut you off sexually then that is a different situation. Why did you stick with him for 3 years?
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I loved him, he’s always been really good to me and his Dad died beginning of year 2. It is a very different story. Im not damaged goods. It was one person for 18 months.
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Does your husband know about your affair? I know that after I learned that my ex wife had an affair sex with her would have been impossible for me. If he is able to do anything at all he should be applauded.
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If he’s able to do anything at all he should be applauded!?! Lol Wtf dude!? What am I a hooker? Geez He’s the reason I had an affair! Yes of course he knows, I told him 100 times I was fed up after 3 years no sex!
Seriously? If she had wanted to repair the marriage you would’ve said no???
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Sorry dude I’m holding my applause! LOL
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Sex is an essential part of love. How can there be love without romance? And how can there be romance without sex?
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You’re preaching to the choir lol. It’s very important, not to mention a lot of fun š
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I truly am in your corner when it comes to sex being a healthy part of a relationship. My spouse suffers from bi-polar disorder (among other things) which makes sex & intimacy extremely difficult. Here is my post about it:
http://justplainolvic.com/2015/03/14/bi-polar-disorder-sex-vs-intimacy/
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Thanks. I will check it out. Yeah I’m not going without sex anymore. That’s non-negotiable lol
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I had a sexless marriage. I felt so unattractive ! It’s ridiculous as I’m quite the hedonist. Love this post x
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Thanks! Oh yes I have been there lol. P was really hot and loved every part of me so that helped quite a bit lol š
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Your thought process is interesting. š š
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How so?
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You love your husband that you are willing to work it around with him and resolve the problem you both might be facing now. An appreciable thing to do as one should never give up on someone whom they love. I respect that.
Also you state that it is not easy to find everything in one person. I have to agree to that as well. No one is perfect and it is in the flaws of others, we see their perfection. You are also willing to enjoy life and be loved and happy but these things sometimes doesn’t need another person. We find them in ourselves.
I don’t know if I made any sense up there, but I did find it interesting. š
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You made a lot of sense lol. Yes, I am able to enjoy life and be happy on my own. But having a true partner in life to share love, passion, the good and bad is what makes me happiest.
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No shit! I was always a loner, fine to live my life how I saw fit. Until I met my wife, and then had kids. Now, through the ups and downs, good and bad, happiness and sadness, I need them like I need oxygen, flaws and all. And I’m certain I’m not all rainbows and butterflies to live with either. He’s right. Perfect imperfections are what make us human. My wife gave me a cartoon clip once that said, “We are all a bottomless pit of something!”. How friggin true is that?!?
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Very true lol
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Been there done that.. What a miserable life that was..
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Absofrigginlutely! Lol
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No way could we go that long. It’s a major dry spell if go a day or two without making love. Hell, 4 times in a year? There are days we enjoy each other 4 times in a day! I feel for ya. Maybe your husband has intimacy or vulnerability issues? Or trust issues? I did for years and hindered my ability to be completely open about sexuality. Not anymore. I tell her everything now and the benefits of showing that vulnerability and trust in her has led to more and better sex for us. Has he ever considered therapy to investigate his reservations? My therapy was not specifically geared towards sex specifically but once I was “right” in my mind the sex came along for the ride, pardon the puns. Hang in there. Hope it gets better for y’all.
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Exactly! I was dying! Yes he needs some help and I’m willing to be supportive to a point.
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Don’t give up on him yet. Is he anti-therapy? I was, and it took a come to Jesus moment to convince me I should. Best thing I’ve done, for me and us.
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He used to be but it helped us both so much years ago. He isn’t looking forward to it but is definitely ready and willing.
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Good. I was very reluctant too. Had a terrific therapist though, helped me through. Hopefully he finds one he’s comfortable with and makes the necessary changes. Compromise is key, right? It’s a learned skill though.
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I’m hopeful he will. Yes compromise is key. Thanks xo
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Sending more good karma your way. Good luck
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Thanks! That’s very sweet. š
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Right on. I hope it works out for you.
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Thanks me too!
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I like how you think š
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Thanks Jim! Lol
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š
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