Take A Chance

take a chance you'll never know

I really like this quote.  I think most of the amazingly life-changing things that happen in life? They happen when you close your eyes, take a deep breath and jump.  As we get older, sometimes we just get too comfortable, lazy and complacent.  I know I am guilty of this.  Sometimes my illness does play a part.  But I need to take more chances and really start living my life again.

I know I said I regret my year and a 1/2 relationship with P but if I’m honest with myself, I do not regret any of it except the ending.  I learned how fun and full of joy and laughter life can be again.  I had tons of wonderful adventures and mind-blowing sex lol.  I feel a little sad that he remains stuck and unhappy in a prison of his own making. But I guess if you have already wasted over 8 years without affection, love and sex it makes it much easier to keep wasting day after day after day.  I have never been mentally or emotionally abused, well at least not in a long term relationship.  So I have no idea what it feels like to be manipulated and lied to by a narcissist for almost 20 years.

Maybe that is the lesson I needed to learn.  That life is just too short to wait for someone to get their head out of their ass and change their life.  Sometimes we just have to accept other people’s choices and let them go.  I forgive him for being weak and addicted.  I hope he finds love again one day.But I need a man who is smart enough to grab onto me with both hands and never let me go.  A man like my husband with one big difference.  A man who LOVES sex and needs it as much as I do.

Life isn’t a video game with 3 chances to get it right.  I need a man who is smarter and braver than P. And I might need one who is more sexual and passionate than my H.  I guess time will tell.  But I have promised 3 months of counseling, then we will go from there.  Strap in folks, it’s about to get interesting to say the least 🙂

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67 thoughts on “Take A Chance

  1. monicakirathi says:

    We live and we learn. I love what you said about accepting other people’s choices and letting them go. You can’t hold onto someone while they are trying to let you go. “Life isn’t a video game where you have 3 chances to get it right.” Brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jarrod C says:

    I like the new design on your blog Emma.

    I agree with other commenters that you learned something about yourself during the relationship with P and that’s what is important. You experienced growth.

    As far as the counseling, I wish you luck and hope it goes the way you want, whichever way that might be.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Andrew says:

    ‘Strap in folks, it’s about to get interesting’ 🙂 that’s not a bad quote yourself.

    I have a theory that voyeur is just another term for WP blogger, I’m a shameless voyeur BIG TIME! I follow so many ‘interesting’ real life stories (lol sex is usually in there), anyways the voyeur in me is looking forward to the ride……….what does a sex therapist do I have no idea? Being serious I know this is important good luck x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sonofabeach96 says:

    From what I’ve seen, you deserve someone to grab on with both hands. Like the advice you’ve given me, forgive and move forward, for your own sake. Now, I hope this leap of faith with your H goes well…and that he steps up. It appears its now or never? If the affair didn’t wake him up I’m not sure what will. But I really, really hope this does the trick. I’ll be reading and listening! Stayin on the clock til the clock runs out, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. justlikedying says:

    I also need sex, good sex. My wife, was too scared for the longest time. Until she realized she would lose me if she didn’t open up. I hope you can make that clear to your hubby in a way that doesn’t hurt him but also clicks. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

      • justlikedying says:

        No we would have sex but it was void of passion. For her it was like a chore and it was getting to the pint were if I brought it up she would say something like sex isn’t important. It became a chore for me as well because I didn’t know if she was enjoying it. When we had sex it had become boring and I got really tired of doing 100% of the initiation. Sometimes it would end with me thinking I should have just masturbated.

        When you put in that much effort and isn’t met with the same intensity, that is when it gets really hard.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Miss Evelyn says:

    If you hadn’t known P you wouldn’t be where you’re at now would you ? Neither would myself if I hadn’t taken a chance. I think though our choices no matter what we made makes us grow stronger than the person previously. Happiness does eventually grow out of sadness. Remember you said go where the love is? x

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmagc75 says:

      That’s true Ev! I do believe there’s a reason for almost everything, even if it sucks, hurts or we can’t understand the reason. I am stronger and I definitely learned a huge lesson. I’m amending my catchphrase lol. Go where the love and hot sex is! Hugs sis xo

      Like

      • Miss Evelyn says:

        There is always a reason if you believe in destiny or the way our lives are “written” out. But I don’t choose to believe that as it will limit my own risk taking. That’s why I don’t ever want to go to a psyhic reading or that other nonsense. As long as you believe in yourself and have the power to change, then you will change your own destiny. Sighs, if only we can all follow directions and go where the love and HOT SEX is LOL. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        • emmagc75 says:

          I think there’s definitely a plan for us. But we’ve also been given free will. So that destiny changes based on the choices we make. I am definitely not settling for less than love and hot sex anymore lol!

          Liked by 1 person

  7. Melanie (DoesItEvenMatterWhoIReallyAm?) says:

    Well my dear, at least you had a rocking good time for those 1.5 years with P. I hope for the best outcome with your counseling… whatever it may be. You deserves happiness, and nothing less. Hope you mini-vacation was fun!
    xoxoxo M

    Liked by 1 person

  8. New Journey says:

    I love the quote…I believe that we all go through life for a purpose, we may never know what the purpose may have been for, but it helps shape and mold us for the better….you can spend all your life speculating the why’s and how come’s of many situations, the one’s that are unexplainable are the ones that normally teach us the most…I have learned in my many years of living, lol, that you don’t waste time trying to figure it all out, be happy with the knowledge. learn from it, make yourself a better person from it…great quote….

    Liked by 2 people

  9. samlobos says:

    Sounds like you have become clear on what you need from a partner and relationship. Glad you are putting your needs out there and are willing to do whatever it takes to get it in a healthy way, whatever the end result. You said some things that I need to remember myself, especially about accepting others choices and finding someone smart enough to grab hold with both hands. I like that.

    Liked by 2 people

    • emmagc75 says:

      Thanks! I am clearer in my heart and my mind. It took me a long time to accept that it’s his life n his choice. For whatever reason if someone you love keeps letting you go? Stop fighting and let them go. It’s all u can do. Be well xo

      Liked by 2 people

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