Smoke em if you got em

My mother-in-law and father-in-law worked out 5 days a week, eat right, don’t smoke and rarely drink. They did everything we are told by doctors, the news and society that we should do to live a long, healthy and happy life.  My father-in-law died 2 years ago at age 79, just 26 days after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  He was the same weight that he had been since high school and in better physical condition than even my husband.

Since then my mother-in-law has obviously struggled, as she had just retired less than a year before.  They had 3 trips already booked when he was diagnosed.  But she is a strong, independent woman and she would not just give up and wither away.  She took a month off and then started working out again 5 days a week.  She joined a bereavement support group and got elected to her local library board.  I can only imagine how hard it has been since she lost her husband of 52 years.

In late July she walked around on a broken hip for 2 weeks before going to the orthopedist because she thought it was a pulled groin muscle from working out too hard.  My father-in-law used to say she didn’t work out hard enough, but he was a hard ass lol. She had hip replacement surgery a month ago and was healing beautifully. She exceeded all expectations and was looking forward to getting back to her life. Until last Thursday when she began to feel weak and exhausted. By Saturday she could barely get out of bed and she had aged 10 years seemingly overnight.  My husband and I were there all day Saturday and Sunday.  I made her soup as she had no appetite and didn’t even have the energy to leave her bed.  Sunday morning my sister-in-law came over, thought my MIL was in a depression and said she was taking her to the hospital.  My MIL refused and said she needed rest. Well even the difference between 9pm Saturday night and noon on Sunday was dramatic.  Her speech was slurred and her motor functions were affected as well.  I thought she might have had a stroke.  So I talked to her throughout the day and got her to agree to go to the hospital the next morning.  I said “T you are slurring your words like a drunk!  You are not depressed, there is something medically wrong and we need to figure it out so you can get well.”

When she went to the hospital Monday morning she had only half the blood volume we normally do and her liver enzymes were high.  They gave her a bag of blood and there was no increase in her volume.  After a colonoscopy and an endoscopy came back clean, we were extremely worried. Today they did a liver biopsy, an MRI of the liver and a Pet scan.  While we won’t know definitively until we get back the pathology report, there are masses in the liver.  They don’t think it originated there, so almost certainly it’s stage iv.  I am leaving work and spending the night with her in the hospital.  No one else was available tonight and like I said before, I’m a pro.  I can count on both hands the amount of people I would sleep in a hospital recliner chair for and my MIL is one of them.

So I am not in a very hopeful and joyous mood right now.  I am bitter and so angry at so many things I feel like my head is going to explode.  I have 30 minutes to get myself together, quit blubbering and paste on a smile.  She’s a very intelligent woman and she doesn’t know anything yet.  Please say prayers and thank you.