I cannot believe I am writing this a week after she got sick. My Mother-in-law passed away last night. All 4 of her children had been there throughout the day n night. Her daughter, my sis-in-law, was with her. And my husband, who we lovingly joke is horrible with hospitals, had just left her bedside not 5 minutes before she took her last breath.
I am so proud of him. He is extremely uncomfortable and visibly shaken in hospitals but he stayed alone with her Friday and Saturday night in the hospital. And has been there all day into the night since.
He called me around 6:30pm. I had gone home after work, exhausted physically and emotionally. He said he was tired n might leave. I told him to stay with her, his brothers, sister and his uncle. I said please trust me, I have been here before. You need to be there. He said you’re right, I will stay a few more hours. He called me from outside the elevator because no cell reception in parking garage. It was 11:12 and he had just left her and his sister. The others had left about an hour before. She died at 11:16 pm. Like his sister said, she knew her son and waited until he had gone. That was her, thoughtful and kind.
She is at peace and she has been reunited with her husband of 51 years.
I am only reading this now – I’m so sorry for the loss of your MIL. I hope you and hubby are finding a new normal and are doing ok. x
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Thanks so much! It’s definitely been difficult as he tends to keep things inside. Today he had a meltdown over a painting because the frame was coming apart. Obviously it wasn’t about the frame so I held him why he cried.
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Aww it is tough and we all grieve differently. Hugs to you as you support each other x
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Thanks! That helps 🙂
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Sounds like she had the love of a wonderful family. Sorry for your loss.
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Thank you! She did 🙂
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Sorry to hear that 😦 x
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Thanks yeah it’s been a shock.
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I am so sorry for your loss but glad to hear he got to spend some time with her before she went.
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Yes we both did and that will help in time.
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Thanks!
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Condolences Em. 😥
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Thanks ue.
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My condolences to you and your family….sorry for your husbands hearbreak, and mothers never stop thinking about there children, no matter what state we’re in, and I have to agree, she knew, and waited until he stepped away….what a wonderful gift she gave to him…..your all in my thoughts…..hugs…kathy
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Thanks Kathy! It’s just starting to sink in that she’s gone. She definitely knew. Selfless til the end.
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Em! God I’m so sorry baby! I’m just f*cking horrified about this…. you know how to get in touch. I’m sorry. So very sorry. My heart is broken for you and yours 💔
I love you and I hope that you can find peace in this madness. I’m here for you babe… M
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Thank you so much! You’re very special and I love u too!
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Em, just wanted to offer my condolences for your loss and an ear for support, should you ever need one.
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Thank you. That’s very kind and much appreciated!
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Oh, Emma, I’m so very sorry for your loss. What a touching last story about your MIL’s love, too. She knew and loved her family, her son, so much she hugged them one last time by waiting. 11:12 to 11:16? Not coincidence. Hugs to you. Your family’s in my prayers.
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Thank you! I know it’s amazing how strong and selfless a mother’s love can be, even in death. Hugs xo.
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my condolences to your and your family. i am thankful that you were able to get your h. to stay and for his mom waiting for him to leave before her passing. you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. )-:
hugs
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Thank you so much! I’m exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally but not depressed thankfully. Sad and grieving the loss but as you know better than most, it’s different and that’s a good thing. How are you feeling? Hugs xo.
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Sunday, i went to a game day with two other people from one of my support groups. we laughed (a lot!!!), we commiserated, confided, spoke of concerns, connected and laughed (a lot!!!). the most common phrase spoke that day was, “i’m having a fun time,” not by one but all. fh to say, i left knowing i had a really good time. i thought if i could laugh like that on a regular bases, it would be a lot harder to feel depressed. i held on to that feeling…until 10:30. about that time, I seemingly crashed back down to reality, feeling a little worse than when game day started.
maybe that’s what i perceived. after having such a wonderful time, a wanted to ride that wave as long as I could. when it petered out, I felt disappointment for the loss. compounded with my fragile state of mind, caused me to sink a little deeper.
so, i am where i am, wondering. i know where my life was before this cycle, I knows my lows, they sucked, and i know where i am now. the gap between now and as where i was before the cycle is quite sizable, and i find myself saying, “is this as good as it gets?”
i sure hope not.…
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I hope not also! For now, I take it a day at a time. Yesterday sucked, today was better. Tomorrow who knows? Lol Big hugs to u xo!
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Sorry for your loss. God bless your family.
We were all there when my mom took her last breath. The nurse warned us she was about to go and so many people miss it. We stayed and not much longer she passed. Hard to watch the last breath, but also something soothing about being there at the end.
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Thanks Tessa! Her daughter was with her n she went peacefully. But my Dad n I were there when my Mom passed. It definitely helped me. She looked so happy n beautiful, any doubts I had about an afterlife were forever gone. She smiled like she was at the party of the century! If I was alone I would’ve thought I hallucinated it lol. Hugs xo.
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I am also very sadden for you and your family. Prayers tonight for you.
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Thank you Laura! Prayers definitely helped.
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Wow… I don’t know what to say.. Peace
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I don’t either lol. But thanks.
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Oh boy, reading that made me teary. I am so very sorry for your, and your family’s loss.
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Thanks sassy! Hugs xo
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I am deeply saddened by your loss. Please accept my condolences and best wishes.
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Thanks Vic! It helps xo.
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I am thinking of you dear Emma. Sweetheart please rest so your body has time to absorb the shock. Drink lots of water it will help your energy continue to flow and protect the body. I am here for you. I am so sorry, HUGS
Louise
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Thank you so very much for the love and support. I have been getting lots of rest n drinking a lot of water. I even brought water to funeral home and made sure his sister and bros had some. I took today off to just rest and tomorrow will be back at work.
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Honey if I had one wish for you right now it would be that this brings you and your husband closer.You need each other.
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I hope so too. I guess time will tell. Thanks Louise! Hugs to u xo.
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So sorry to hear this Emma. You are all in my prayers xx
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Thank you! How are you doing?
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I have had a rough couple of days to be honest but I found my voice and used it. I am not prepared to be so forgiving anymore. His behaviour on the weekend was disgusting and I am not putting up with anymore of it. Watch this space. I hope you are managing to get through this difficult time hun x
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What was disgusting? I’m glad you’re not taking the crap. Hope things get better soon. Hugs xo!
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Better take a look at my last couple of posts. It’s been a turning point for me. Hugs to you xx
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I did while I was waiting for the dentist earlier. I’m sorry that happened but glad he’s getting help. Sending u love n hugs xo.
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I’m. So sorry Emma. Continued prayer for you and your dear loved ones.
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Thank you so much. Prayers always help.
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It’s kind of a comfort that love is stronger than death. True love reaches over time and space. In soul you will meet her again thanks to your strong love. That’s sounds silly, but I get hugs and love from my parts of my family that passed a long time ago. Take care 🙂
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It’s not silly at all. Fortunately it’s so true and it helps me to keep going n be happy. It brings me great comfort knowing death isn’t the end. Thank you.
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You are welcome. I hope you are well 🙂
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Getting better thank you!
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Good. It takes time to “heal”, I know.
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It definitely does n I’m not very patient lol.
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I know what you mean 🙂
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I’m just whiny today lol. Don’t mind me. How are u?
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I’m fine. It’s cold weather her now and I want the warm Fall to stay a little bit longer, that’s allm:)
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Hope you’re staying nice n warm Anna!
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I try to, but I think I’ll be warm when spring comes again. It always feels like that this time of the year 🙂
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But great cuddling weather 🙂
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Indeed it is. Reading books weather too 🙂
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Definitely! I read about a book or 2 a week in the winter lol.
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Me too 🙂
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I enjoy losing myself in a book for a short while 🙂
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Mee too. It’s like travelling in your mind 🙂
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Exactly lol
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I’m so sorry, Em. My thoughts are with you and your family. Never easy, obviously. But, like you said, she’s reunited with her love. I hope I’m lucky enough to have and be there for my wife that many years. A life well lived, and I’m sure she knew how much all of you loved her. Be well, my friend. Open invite for venting here, if ya need it. 😔
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Thank you! That means a lot. And oh son, after the wake n funeral you’re going to be sorry you offered lol. I am probably going to need to get my feelings out. Im still in shock. Hugs xo.
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I hear ya. And that’s perfectly fine. I’m a good ear. I feel for you, and her children of course. But for you, I’m sure the whole hospital vigil, caregiving, etc, triggered you. I’m sorry for that. Hope you’re doin ok. Ya know where to find me if need be. 😐
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Wow, actually it did trigger me last week. Then I was in shock. I just tried to be there for H. Thank you for caring.
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Hey, glad to hear from ya. And no worries for caring, it’s what friends do for one another. Hope you guys are doin ok.
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We are ok and that’s good enough for now.
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Still sending good thoughts you’re way. 😊
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They are definitely helping son! Today was a bit better. Thnx!!
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It did but unfortunately my husband is so entrenched in his own grief right now. And he’s taking on way too much. It’s not good.
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He’s gonna burn himself out. I watched my wife go through it, felt like I was no help to her at all. She kept telling me just to be there to listen, hold, and hug. Just do the same for him, I guess. It’ll pass at some point, to a degree, of course. Hang in there my friend. 😃
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Yes he is. But he’s putting a lot of pressure on me and that’s not ok. I’m not going to be responsible for cleaning n clearing out my MIL’s house. Then organizing it to all be sold. But he seems to expect it and I don’t know how to tell him.
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His siblings aren’t helping with that? It seems as though they should be in there too.
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No, they really don’t care about the contents of the house I guess. They collected a lot of antiques and he’s the only one that knows what they’re worth.
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Man. I don’t really get along with my dad, even. But I’d still want some things as momentos.
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Oh they each took some things after she died.
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But me just being with him as support seems to be helping.
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That’s good. Just be patient I guess
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I’m trying. Not one of my many virtues lol.
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So so sorry, sending you strength and comfort xx
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Thank u. That helps! Hugs xo.
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I’m so sorry for you loss. I know you really liked her.
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Thank you. Yes, I was very lucky. She never demanded or expected anything. So easygoing and kind. Never tried to interfere or cause problems. Just wanted to see us n we would go for dinner and talk.
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I am chilled reading this, but I take comfort in knowing that there are people in the world that can rise above themselves for others.
I am sorry for your family’s loss.
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Thank you. Yes there are truly wonderful people like her. Always thinking of others and she was always there when u needed her. Hope u are ok.
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So very sorry to hear this Emma. I’m sure he is so glad of your support. Hugs x
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Yes he’s not been sleeping n stressed. I’m hoping he finally gets some rest tonight.
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I’m so sorry for you loss. It sounds like she was surrounded by love in those final moments. If you need to talk/vent, you know where I am.
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Thanks Sam. Yes she was and she was at peace.
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