Death Takes Us All But Love is Eternal

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I have accumulated a lot of personal knowledge of death over the last 7 years.  First 6 years ago, I lost my Mom.  A year later I lost one of my best friends, my 32 year old cousin, a Special Forces paratrooper who survived 2 tours in Iraq and a tour in Afghanistan, in a freak training accident here in the US. A year after that, his father and the only Uncle I was really close to out of my Mom’s 3 brothers died of cancer. A year after that I lost my only other male cousin who was 44 of cancer. A year later we lost my H’s Dad less than a month after he was diagnosed with cancer.  Now, my Mother-in-law died last week of ovarian cancer after a week in the hospital and before she was even officially diagnosed!!

Holy shit!  I cannot believe how many people I have lost over the last 7 years!!  Is it me or does that seem like A LOT of death?!?!  That doesn’t even count close family friends, distant relatives, grandparents, etc. Maybe I am being overly sensitive or dramatic but that seems like a shitload of death and loss to me.  I don’t think I ever really stopped and thought about it like that.

I was raised to always find the good in every situation as well as something to laugh about.  Because otherwise what the heck is the point?  And I agree with that philosophy, it has kept me going through some very dark times in my life.  I’m not saying don’t feel bad, mad or sad.  I’m saying don’t allow it to define you.  I don’t think that I have a dark cloud hanging over me or anything.  Shit happens in life and you really have only 2 choices. You can either deal with it and enjoy life or you can sit and whine about all the bad that has happened.

Do you know what I think of?  I think of their faces, smiling and laughing.  So full of life and joy.  They each led such extraordinary lives and had something so special about them.  I mourned them and grieved the loss but now?  I remember them and I celebrate all the amazing memories and laughter we shared through the years!!!  I was so lucky to know them and be related to them, either by blood or by marriage.  How many people can say they consider themselves truly lucky to have had 33 years with a mother so remarkable that she will never ever be forgotten?  I can!!

Yes it sucks and when someone is grieving the worst thing you can say is something idiotic like they’re in a better place or it is a blessing!!!  It makes that person’s loved ones want to crack someone in the head lol.  It doesn’t matter that it is true or that you only mean to help, when a person is grieving almost anything you say can set them off.  That’s just the nature of intense pain and suffering.  You know what never ever pissed me off or hurt my feelings?  I’m so sorry for your loss and a hug.  That was always the perfect thing to say.  More people should just say that lol.  At least I think so.

I think the way I think about death is different than most.  After being there with my Mom when she died, whatever doubts I had about the afterlife and seeing our loved ones again when we die?  They cease to exist, 100% because she had the most beautiful and happy smile on her face as she crossed over from this world to the next one.  My Dad and I thought maybe we were hallucinating, but then we realized we would both have to be hallucinating simultaneously but separately. We will see our loved ones again and from the look on my Mom’s beautiful little face?  It’s a hell of a party when we do!!!!

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35 thoughts on “Death Takes Us All But Love is Eternal

  1. Anna says:

    Big hugs. I so know about people dying constantly. Never a rest moment. And everytime someone pass, all the memories of the previous losses come back. I can understand you’re exhausted. But you seems to be strong in soul. i hope you get to find some rest eventually.

    Like

  2. bipolarsojourner says:

    my belief on grief is recapped in this analogy. something or someone finds a place in your heart. the closer they become, they find an even bigger place in your heart. at a time of loss, the person tears away its piece of your heart. a loss of anything that has found a way into your heart will cause grief in proportion to how much heart they have earned.

    from the sounds of it, you have experienced much loss and grief. it sounds like your heart is in shreds. being a person who looks at the good side of life, I hope this is not toot trite. the pain you feel is because you were loved and felt loved. If you ask me, that is a gift, greater than any gift and a gift you continue to share with those around you.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. castleblocs says:

    As a nurse, I saw many faces as they crossed from this life to the next. The sense of peace, and the palpable absence of their light and presence, made me fully believe in the separation of body and soul at the time of death. I am sorry for your loss…many warm hugs to you…but thank you for sharing such a beautiful perspective…what a lovely way to honor each of the special people you have lost.

    Liked by 2 people

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