It’s been 2 1/2 weeks since my Mother-in-law died very suddenly and unexpectedly. In a week she went from being completely healthy to dying of stage 4 ovarian cancer. The only blessing is she never really knew she was sick. By the time we knew it was cancer, she was already in hospice.
I’ve just been exhausted physically and emotionally. We’re all Catholic so the wake was Friday day n night. Then Sat morning was the funeral mass at church then the burial. Then we had a lunch at a restaurant. We rented the whole place so it was nice.
Neither of my husband’s brothers or sister are really spiritual (I have lovingly called them heathens for years n my Mother in law used to laugh lol) so I planned the funeral mass. It was beautiful and sweet. Just what she would’ve wanted. No hypocritical church bullshit lol. The priest looked like and sounded exactly like the actor from those old 7 up commercials. My H said his Mom would’ve really liked him. I thought so too.
I was sitting there in the front on the aisle because I had to do a reading because my brother-in-law changed his mind which I understood. It really hit me right them, standing near her covered casket and I started crying silently, the tears pouring down my face. My H took my hand and squeezed while putting his arm around me. Then of course I felt horrible that he had to comfort me because it was his Mom we lost. But just when I felt so weak and broken, I turned around and looked back at the church. There a few rows back was my family!! I knew they would all come to the wake. But I was so surprised and happy to see my Dad, his girlfriend, my brothers n sis in laws, even my cousin at the church. My Mom would’ve wanted that but I was so grateful and it gave me so much comfort and strength. I know they are all very busy, except my Dad who’s retired, so the fact that they were all there for me? It helped my heart tremendously and lifted my spirit more than words can ever say. That’s why even if we drive each other nuts or piss each other off, it doesn’t matter. When push comes to shove, we are always there for each other and that will never change. I know how truly blessed and lucky I am to have them in my life. I’m going to my brother’s house later for a birthday party for my nephew. They will all be there and I will definitely tell them since I don’t tell them nearly enough how much they mean to me lol.
Life is so short! All that matters is love, family, friends, laughter, joy n yes passion n great sex lol. I know everything does happen for a reason and I am so grateful that I was here for my H when he needed me most. I will continue to be here for him. But if January comes and there’s still not improvement in the sexless part of our marriage? I will not be living without love, sex and passion and that is non-negotiable.
I don’t wish to embarrass (you’ll know I speak as I find 🙂
Emma you are a lovely and caring woman and a warmth shines through your writing.
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Thank you Andrew. That made my day 🙂
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We lost my father in law suddenly as well about 2 months ago.. Your words resonate with me. I’m so sorry for your loss xo
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Oh I’m so sorry. It sucks. I know 100% I was meant to be here for him. But I also know I deserve to have love, passion n great sex too. It’s not easy but life is short n precious. Hugs!
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you are so fortunate to have such a supportive family. they can help pull you through when you are knee deep in life. you are in my thoughts and prayers. be strong. as if i need to remind you since it is part of your nature.
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Thank you! I am blessed but still miss my Mom who I could always tell everything to. My Dad n brothers are great but it’s just not the same. I’m strong n weak all at the same time, if that makes any sense lol. Hope ur ok. Hugs xo!
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Missing your mom isn’t bad or wrong, à contrer. it’s a sign of the love she had for you and, I return, the love you had for her. what a beautiful thing. no wonder you miss her.
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I know it’s not wrong. It just took me a very long time to be okay existing in a world where she no longer did. She was my biggest fan lol.
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Beautiful post Emma 🙂
I agree with you on the last line. Some things are just not negotiable 🙂
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Thanks! Definitely not negotiable but since he just lost his Mom, I’m waiting 2 more weeks n then we’re going to start sex therapy.
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And I hope that works for you! 🙂
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Thanks. I guess time will tell. Either way in 2016 I’m going where the love and great sex is lol! Wherever that takes me 🙂
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Please, when you find them, let me know! 🙂
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Oh I will! 🙂
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(so I can go and search too! 😀 )
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You are truly a strong and courageous woman sis. You haven’t wavered in your dedication to your family and especially your husband. You have been there for him and everyone else when they needed you the most. x
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Thanks sis. I’m trying to be strong. It’s not always easy. He is my family and no matter what happens in the future, he always will be. I do really have to reschedule our appt with the therapist. I just have to be patient for a few more weeks. He’s taken on the huge responsibility of selling all the contents of his parents house. So we’re calling antique dealers n setting up appts for tomorrow n Monday.
Today I’m getting my hair done n then I have a friend’s 40th birthday party tonight 🙂
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You know you are because you have a strong foundation to start with unlike myself who’s had people walk all over me and thought that was the meaning of “nice.” I think a month or so yes eventually you’ll have to talk to your husband about it. That sounds like a lot of work and I admire you for being there for him when he needed you the most. Getting your hair done us always fun 🙂 wish I can do myself more often.
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Thanks Ev! I am very fortunate to have a strong foundation of unconditional love, affection n support. I wish everyone had that growing up. But you are strong and u are finding your way. U should b proud of how far u have come!! Hugs n love xo!
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Aww…thanks sis ! Oftentimes I feel so slow finding my way. I desperately want to rush it but know I cant. So it leaves me frustrated. Hope you’re having wonderful day yourself ! ❤
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I know frustration lol. Had a good weekend but today we’re getting MIL’s house ready for huge estate sale. Not fun.
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Wish I can join ! I never went to an estate sale 🙂
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It’s a lot of fun when it’s a stranger’s things. When it’s your family? Not so fun lol
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I guess not 😦 is it like a yard sale ?
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Yup except with almost the whole contents of a house. Antiques, clothes, furniture, etc
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I am glad to hear that, in your time of grief, you were still able to find something to be happy about and have a great perspective on life. Take care!
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Thanks Vic! Just exhausted but it’s normal.
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