I have dabbled with meditation in the past, but never stuck with it until recently. It’s kind of amazing how it can change your whole mindset. Like yesterday, I was feeling a little sad after spending the weekend going through my Mother-in-law’s closets to get ready for the huge Estate Sale we are having next weekend. Sometimes I still can’t believe that she’s really gone.
After we got home, I just felt a little depressed and exhausted. So I did 2 guided meditations that I found on youtube. Each was about 20-25 minutes and the result was amazing and immediate. I felt happy, centered and so grateful for all the good that I have in my life. There was so much light and love, and it was all coming from inside me. I was actually kind of shocked that I got so much out of it.
Years ago, I used to laugh at my friends that are into meditation, yoga, etc. I knew it was a good thing but I don’t think I had any clue how life-changing it can be. I took a mediation class about 10 years ago but didn’t really get that much out of it. I don’t know what changed. But last night, I put my headphones on and just really got into a zone. I honestly cannot believe how much better it made me feel.
This morning I woke up still feeling so grateful for all my blessings and all the wonderful people I have in my life. For all the family and friends that actually want to be in my life and go out of their way to show me how much they care.
I was heartbroken, traumatized and angry for so long. And you know what? I had every right to be. I couldn’t understand how someone could say they love you with all their heart and soul one day, that you were the only woman in the world for them and then dump you in an email and put your love in a box!!!!! It was extremely traumatic to have the man you love completely turn his back on you. I’ve never experienced that trauma and abandonment before and I know I never will. Thankfully, now I rarely think of him and I’m glad.
I do know he has read my blog once or twice over the last few weeks. I honestly think he reads my posts but he also reads the articles on narcissism and addiction to narcissistic abuse. It feels a little creepy, but since I don’t plan on mentioning him again after December, I don’t see it becoming a problem. I wish him well but he is no longer part of my life or my future. All this time I felt like he didn’t choose me. And that deeply hurt my heart. But actually he didn’t choose love, joy, sex and happiness. And finally after almost 11 months? Now I no longer choose him.
“We shouldn’t cross the river for a person who doesn’t want to cross a puddle for us.” Doesn’t that just kind of say it all? LOL
Today I found a nearby yoga class that starts in January. I can register for it the first week in November. I’m really looking forward to it.
I’m on a journey and I’m going where the love and great sex is! ♡♡♡