Hell Hath Definitely Frozen Over- Part 1

P served so so with separation papers. It’s a long, messy tale. Basically, after going back to her as she asked him to do, doing everything and anything in his power to repair his broken marriage and keep his family intact for the last 11 months without any significant improvement? He knew something wasn’t right as they still have not been intimate (it’s been 3 1/2 years now) beyond a few kisses and some rubbing.  She just kept saying she needs time. Well she has been having an affair for almost a year and has had other brief affairs in the past. He saw her passcode and found nude photos, texts, and evidence that she even paid for the hotel and bought this guy gifts!!

I honestly think he would’ve forgiven all of this as he had an affair too.  But she has said such horrible, disgusting and demeaning things about him over and over to the point that his Mom read them and was completely horrified and shocked.  It’s become completely obvious that she hates P and has for a long time.  She is a sick and evil woman and I feel so sorry for their kids.  The way she ridiculed his attempts to be sweet to her are just so completely mean and nasty.

She constantly laughs at him, calls him her bitch and says he will never leave her!!!  For their 20th Anniversary, he took her to a broadway show and bought her a Michael Kors purse, perfume and a card.  She laughed when telling her OM how she got him nothing, not even a card and how she returned the really nice purse just to upset him.

He says he was finally ready to get out but knew he was and is addicted to the narcissistic cycle of abuse he has endured for over 20 years.  He has told his Mom and sisters because he knew it would be like an insurance policy. After all these years, he doesn’t trust himself and needs to ensure that he cannot go back to her.

So in true narcissistic fashion, she is feverishly hoovering, trying to be sweet and saying what’s the rush? She has NOT called the attorney/mediator to schedule an appointment as she has promised to do for the last few days. She says she’s worried about the kids. Bullshit!! She’s worried that she will have to actually BE a Mother and spend extended periods of time with her own children rather than at the gym and with the om.  But I believe P is still by far her biggest source of narcissistic supply. I don’t see her giving that up willingly or easily.  She likes to see him miserable and lonely. He has allowed her to make him feel worthless and that’s just sad.

While we all want to hear good things about ourselves from family and friends, we value them even when it’s not forthcoming. Many of us have even learned to appreciate those who tactfully share with us negative feedback. This is certainly not the case with Narcissists. They ONLY value those who feed their craving for something called “narcissistic supply.” Children–especially young ones–are good sources of supply, along with other family members and friends they can control and dominate.

I am just really glad that he and his family have finally seen exactly who she is. But rest assured, I cannot be involved in any of this crazy circus.  I have not forgiven him for the way he has treated me and for choosing to stay miserable and unloved.

After all the years he’s wasted? After decades of narcissistic abuse? I feel sorry for him but I know he is his own worst enemy. He always has been. And while it breaks my heart to know how broken he is, I have seen nothing yet to make me want to see him or allow him back in my life.

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64 thoughts on “Hell Hath Definitely Frozen Over- Part 1

  1. Weird Guy With The Dog says:

    Great story…sounds familiar somehow, like I’ve been there! Once a cheater, always a cheater. In my world, the first cut is the deepest, and I don’t give second chances. I would end a relationship BEFORE ever doing such a thing. I have been single for over 10 years since my divorce, and I still feel the pain.

    Liked by 2 people

    • emmagc75 says:

      Wow! I’m sorry to hear that. But I can tell you that isn’t always true. I cheated after years of a sexless marriage. Told my H 100 times I was going to cheat after trying everything possible to fix things. But I still loved him n naively thought I could separate sex n love. It was a mistake and one I do not intend to ever repeat. So should I wear a scarlet letter for rest of my life?

      Liked by 3 people

    • emmagc75 says:

      Honestly, they have no real relationship and haven’t for years. She likes it that way cause as a narcissist she’s incapable of real intimacy. She wants adoration n narcissistic supply not love and companionship. But he’s stayed n he has to figure out why he has allowed it.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Andrew says:

    Hi emma Firstly I came to your blog very late so understand little, no only snippets of your private life, WHICH in a way I’m pleased about because I always worry about appearing feeling voyeuristic reading peoples life stories, then again because I’m drawn to people I like I also understand the anonymous writing is cathartic a much used emotional term. I don’t read blogs to, can’t find the word it’s not enjoy you’ll know, I suffer from and I hate the word ’empath’ I feel for people going through hard times (me also) there’s a lady single lady I follow with few friends living in a big city, :/ I keep her spirits up OR I think I do lol, anyways it’s NOT pity she likes to reply…….. btw I write because I like her and feel so sad reading her posts, anyways, as usual I meander.

    Reading you today I understand the narssisstic abuse posts, I’m writing too much as usual enough to say I understand how people can be very cruel then switch to be charming within minutes then only to ” you over, but of course children are involved. Thinking of YOU Andrew 🙂

    Btw hope my sin Sunday made you smile, I had to work on ‘it!’ a little 😉 lol

    Liked by 1 person

      • Andrew says:

        I’m well ty, picked up mum’s collies for a lovely walk by the river in the rain, just to say lol I don’t live on the internet! :/ As usual I talked about me well earlier sort of. Here’s my err take, I guess because I’m of middle age I’ve had two friends go through divorce one amicable one messy also an Uncle and that WAS messy with all the emotional blackmail games with their daughter being used as a pawn, point being now as an adult mum she came through her parents divorce a well balanced woman and is now a Primary School Head Mistress you get the analogy.

        I would say there comes a point with an abusive partner when you have to say the time has come to separate and move on, just wanted to add to my previous reply. Andrew

        Liked by 1 person

            • emmagc75 says:

              Actually his Mom n sisters have all apologized to him for believing her lies n manipulations for years. They are so angry n disgusted. I knew there had to be a reason why they seemed to love n support her n not him. I just can’t understand why anyone would try to turn someone’s family against them for no reason. Years before he met me. If that’s not evil, I don’t know what is. His Mom is out for blood lol.

              Like

              • New Journey says:

                yes its all about control and keeping him a puppet….and yes she had better be looking over her shoulder, mama bear will protect her cub at any cost…..especially a guilt ridden mama bear…hope she rips her a new one….!!!!

                Liked by 1 person

                • emmagc75 says:

                  Sadly she knows he’s her puppet n she has controlled him for years thru ignoring n sick mind games. But yup Mom is ready to rip her to shreds!!! Lol Truth always comes out eventually but 20 years was a freakin long time to fool everyone except her abused husband n kids ya know? She’s dumb as a rock but extremely charming n cunning. Lethal as a viper. How are u doing?? Do u know I’ve lost 33 lbs in 2 1/2 years but only time I get on scale was for biggest loser challenge at work? Lol

                  Like

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