Blow Up

marriage doomed
I guess this has been coming for a while.  I left my husband a note this morning telling him how disappointed I am that he has done nothing to try to improve the sexless state of our marriage. I stressed how serious I am about separating in January if things do not drastically improve and I’m so devastated that he isn’t even trying to fight for me and for us. He left me a voicemail apologizing and saying he will try harder and things will get better. I’ve heard all that before. Then we spoke and argued and I blew up and told him I’ve waited so much longer than I should have. Life is too short to waste it. I said I’m not willing to stay without sex, kissing and romantic love ANYMORE. Our problems are not just his fault, they’re ours (cause he said oh you’re perfect it’s all me). But the truth is only 1 of us refuses sex.
I said I’m so sorry you’re hurting but I’m hurting too. I miss love and I cant be unhappy n unloved any longer. I just can’t. He said he is not well and I said I know that. He said I love you! and I’m stressed! So I said I know I can be a crazy bitch but I deserve and need to be desired and made love to. He said he agrees lol. I said he doesn’t love me enough to share sex and love and I am not waiting another 2 months. I want a sex life now! Either go to the dr, explain you’re depressed n ask to try testosterone because it helps with low libido and depression or I’m done.  I know I shouldn’t feel bad but I do.  I do not want to hurt him anymore than he already is but I AM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND! Then of course he had to hit me like 5 times with the fact that his Mom died 2 months ago.  As much as I get that and I have tried to be patient, it’s just been way too long for me to accept that. So I feel sad, horribly insensitive and angry at the same time.
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56 thoughts on “Blow Up

  1. escharae says:

    My ex-boyfriend had some issues with his sexuality that I hope one day he talks to some therapist, counselor, specialist, expert – whatever – about. He had libido, but to him sexuality was to be lived individually, not to be shared with someone else. I don’t need to tell you that although it wasn’t the only reason why I broke up with him, it definitely weighed on my decision.
    One of my best friends was once on some heavy antidepressants which took his libido away, and I remember he told me about how he and his girlfriend talked about it and tried to come up with a solution. ‘Cause I think that’s what you do when you care.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. learning to live like water says:

    Have you or he considered energy healing? It seems that he is way out of balance, that there he is blocked somewhere. Reiki can be a wonderful start to opening up the flow of energy throughout the body. Also acupuncture might help. Maybe go with him somewhere and do something intimate and relaxing…like getting massages together at a spa. It might loosen him up, it might be that the attention that’s on it now is making it harder. IDK. Just a few ideas. Good luck, xo

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Megan says:

    You’ve been super-patient and understanding. It’s only fair that he takes into account your needs, and let’s face it, a good sex life and intimacy will benefit him too (and help his depression and grief).

    I’m rooting for you both, but if nothing changes, then you need to do what’s best for you. x

    Liked by 2 people

  4. A Passionate Dreamer says:

    Don’t feel bad. We all have needs. I for one would not do well in a sexless marriage. That wouldn’t work for me at all so I commend you on going so long without it. You have needs and there is nothing wrong with that. He has needs as well. He needs to seek help for his depression. Hopefully he finds the help he needs so you can feel intimacy again.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Deanne says:

    Sorry to hear of your woes. If he’s still grieving he probably need some emotional support. Some people are unable to be intimate if their emotions are not quite there. He already lost his mom a couple months ago; pushing a divorce on him now will destroy him emotionally. Try and work with him. Let him make the next move concerning intimacy. Just be there for him emotionally.

    Thanks for sharing. I hope you guys are able to resolve that matter soon 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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