This addiction is what I had the most trouble really getting. It is such a HUGE part of why people stay in bad marriages and relationships for years. I never understood the biology behind it. It is real and it does make victims of narcissistic abuse bond so closely to the person responsible for their suffering. The wife or husband treating them like crap and ignoring their needs over and over again. This is why they make excuses, stay stuck in denial, remain trapped hoping the narcissist isn’t lying this time and will change (AIN’T A SHOT IN HELL OF THAT HAPPENING). Good, loving parents even allow their children to suffer the narcissist’s abuse as a result of their addiction. It’s what they feel comfortable with and being without it is very scary and hard to deal with.
Please know that you can and will be happy again. But the first step is to face the truth. No more denial. Only then can you start to break free. Go where the love is!
Your Brain on Love, Sex and the Narcissist: The Addiction to Bonding with our Abusers
by Shahida Arabi
Many survivors of narcissistic abuse are confounded by the addiction they feel to the narcissist, long after the abusive relationship took a toll on their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Make no mistake: recovery from an abusive relationship can be very similar to withdrawal from drug addiction due to the biochemical bonds we may develop with our toxic ex-partners.
Understanding why we are addicted permits us recognize that our addiction is not about the merits of the narcissist, but rather the nature and severity of the trauma we’ve experienced. It enables us to detach and move forward with powerful knowledge that can propel us towards greater agency and healthier relationships than the ones we’ve experienced in the past. In addition, it challenges the victim-blaming discourse in society that prevents many abuse survivors from gaining…
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