Life has been going really well the last few weeks, except for a bad sinus infection which made me tired. Things with my H have been pretty darn great. He’s definitely been putting in a big effort to connect and be the sweet, loving man I fell in love with. Which of course makes me happier and then I put in more of an effort as well. It’s a slow process and I’m trying to be patient, which is not one of my many virtues lol. This weekend it snowed so we watched movies and ordered pizza. It was a lot of fun.
The last few days I have been a little weepy. I think it’s hormonal and maybe a little bit of my depression. Crying comes and goes, but nothing like it is when the depression gets bad. I just sometimes get a tiny bit scared thinking, “Is this the day my meds stop working and I turn back into a human vegetable?” I know it’s not and that I am fine. Luckily as much as I struggle with depression, I have never had a problem with anxiety. Except a few days before my Mom died and I developed this weird eye twitch (very attractive lol). That was NOT a good time, so I think the anxiety can be excused.
I think when I pretend it’s not happening, it just tends to make it worse. I just hate feeling that I have no control over whether I’m happy or sad. But I am calling myself out and being honest about this little ripple. Tonight I am having dinner with my family and that always helps. I know for me, it really is just a blip and I will be fine in a day or two. And I have absolutely nothing to feel bad, guilty or sorry for. I just have to remind my brain of that!!