A Little Weepy

Life has been going really well the last few weeks,  except for a bad sinus infection which made me tired.  Things with my H have been pretty darn great.  He’s definitely been putting in a big effort to connect and be the sweet, loving man I fell in love with. Which of course makes me happier and then I put in more of an effort as well. It’s a slow process and I’m trying to be patient, which is not one of my many virtues lol. This weekend it snowed so we watched movies and ordered pizza. It was a lot of fun.

The last few days I have been a little weepy. I think it’s hormonal and maybe a little bit of my depression. Crying comes and goes, but nothing like it is when the depression gets bad.  I just sometimes get a tiny bit scared thinking, “Is this the day my meds stop working and I turn back into a human vegetable?”  I know it’s not and that I am fine. Luckily as much as I struggle with depression, I have never had a problem with anxiety. Except a few days before my Mom died and I developed this weird eye twitch (very attractive lol). That was NOT a good time, so I think the anxiety can be excused.

I think when I pretend it’s not happening, it just tends to make it worse. I just hate feeling that I have no control over whether I’m happy or sad. But I am calling myself out and being honest about this little ripple. Tonight I am having dinner with my family and that always helps.  I know for me, it really is just a blip and I will be fine in a day or two. And I have absolutely nothing to feel bad, guilty or sorry for. I just have to remind my brain of that!!

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29 thoughts on “A Little Weepy”

  6. creativerational says:
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    I didn’t used to think I had problems with anxiety. The more I research the more I realize I have out of body float experiences which are full on anxiety attacks on a very regular basis. I never associated them with anxiety because I don’t feel particularly stressed when they come on.

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      • creativerational says:
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        Yep. So it seems. I have full blown anxiety, when in the day to day of things I am the least likely person to be classified as anxious. I don’t pay weird attention to time, i don’t rub my life based on others perception, I’m a fairly actualized person who just… IS. I don’t worry- oh we’re late? No big. We’re lost? It’s and adventure. My luggage is in one country and I am in another and I have big business meetings the next day and everything but Walmart is closed? I can handle it. And then some afternoon I will be having a normal talk with a coworker and suddenly I have cotton in my ears, I feel like I am floating and there is the overwash feeling of déjà vu and reminiscent feelings of dreams I have had recently tickling my mind. I am still able to have the conversation but I usually finish it up so I don’t say something spooky and go to my office or the bathroom and breath deeply and talk myself down until it subsides. It’s trippy. The déjà vu thing is new since I found out about cheater, and I’m going to go to the doc about it because according to doctor Google, there is some link to anxiety but that’s recent. There’s more linkages to that feeling and certain types of epilepsy. Well that’s reassuring… (Sigh)

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