My Dad had surgery on his badly broken foot last night. The surgery went well and took almost 5 hours. They put a few pins in and 2 plates. He didn’t get out of recovery until midnight, so I ended up not going to the hospital last night. I get up at 6 am for work and I have just been exhausted lately. My brother and sister-in-law were up there with my Dad’s girlfriend. He will have months of recovery and can’t put any weight on the left foot for 2 months.
So can someone please tell me why I feel so friggin guilty? Probably because I’m the girl and I’ve just always been the one who does ALL the caretaking. I guess I’m just having a rough week and I’m extra sensitive. Doesn’t help that he was in the same hospital that my Mother-in-law was in having her hip surgery a month before she died 5 months ago. I don’t need a psychology degree to realize I’m avoiding certain feelings regarding grief and the eventuality of losing him some day.
He’s always been my rock and I need him more than I’d like to admit. We have been there for one another through everything. That first year after my Mom died and he didn’t leave the house some days? He always called only me just to say he was still alive and so I didn’t worry.
Growing up when someone asked are you a Mommy’s girl or a Daddy’s girl? I never hesitated to say “BOTH!” LOL. I have always been close to both my parents and kept very few secrets from either of them. I’ll never forget when I was about 5 and he took me to lunch so my Mom could clean the house on a Saturday. My brothers had gone to the movies with their friends. My Mom figured we’d go to McDonalds or something similar. But technically she didn’t specify lol. We went to this fancy and expensive restaurant with cloth napkins which is known for great steaks and lobster. Boy was she pissed when we got home and she had just finished eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Not that he had taken me there, but that we hadn’t brought her home any lobster 🙂
Well he was discharged a little while ago and I am going to the drugstore after work to pick up his prescriptions and then meeting them at his house. I’m sure he is going to have some smart ass remark/joke about me not going to hospital last night lol. And that’s okay. I know he just feels more secure when I’m around as I do when he’s around. We’ve been through a lot together, more than most. My cancer, my Mom’s, the time I got roofied the night before Thanksgiving and stopped breathing on the way to the hospital with only he and I in the car and ended up on a respirator for 3 days. Oh and then the time when I was underage and got literally thrown out of a bar face first (not because I was underage because we all were but because I had given the bouncer a fake number a few weeks earlier). He thought he could do whatever he wanted because we were all underage and I guess they figured we’d never tell our parents. But like I said, I didn’t keep secrets from my parents. My Dad and brother made me take them right back while my friends waited at our house and point him out. The music stopped, the lights went on, and the bouncer tried to hide lol. He was a pretty big guy, over 6 feet, and my Dad just grabbed him by the neck, lifted him off the ground and made him apologize to me. My brother knew the bar owner and the rest of the bouncers/bartenders, so everyone hung back and just let him get what he deserved.
We’re family, always there for one another through thick and thin. Yes, we drive one another nuts but we’re still there when it matters, no questions asked. And I think that’s what family means. More than simply a blood relation, it’s shared history and shared experiences. Family, friends, love, and laughter mean the most in life. If you’re rich in those things, I think you’re pretty damn lucky.
I’m glad he’s doing good. And he’s lucky to have you as a daughter. No need for guilt. Hugs💙💙
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Thanks Sam! I’m not anymore thankfully. Especially since I picked up his prescription at pharmacy then later dropped off another one on my way home lol.
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Oh honey! First, I’m so very glad the surgery went well and second, you story touches me so deeply. I’m glad we’ve crossed paths ❤
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I’m very glad too Rita! Ur a lovely woman 🙂
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Thanks but just a woman who’s glad your daddy’s surgery went well.
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Nope ur special lol.
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thank you sweetheart! only because you are ❤
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Thanks!! My Mom told me I was so lol. But she was biased 🙂
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No! She was brilliant.
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She did get a perfect score on english part of sats lol.
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You are lucky- and they are lucky to have you .. Wishing your dad a speedy recovery xo
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Aww thanks! Yeah we piss each other off sometimes but we’re absolutely very lucky. How are you though???
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I’m ok, in the most general sense of the term.. Day by day, with no other options 🙂
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Unfortunately I know how painful it is n how long it takes to heal. I’m still shocked at Putz’s dysfunctional choices but he’s not the same man I knew n loved.
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Sending you hugs n healing xo!
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Amen! Glad surgery went well. And for the guilt? Screw that! You’ve done your time, wouldn’t you agree. He’s not alone, and he knows it I’m sure. Let me know how things are going.
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I totally will. 2 plates but I didn’t know they have to take pins out in 4-6 weeks?? Ouch! Yeah I picked up his pain meds n antibiotics tonight. He’s weak n in little pain but good.
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Are the pins external then?
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I don’t think so.
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Sometimes they are, and that’s more problematic. He’s better off with what he’s got.
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Yeah they’re internal so why do they have to come out but plates can stay?
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They’re probably just for stability during healing vs being for permanent support. The less hardware the better. Shouldn’t be that big a deal to take em out.
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Ok cool. Thnx lol. Definitely not a topic I am knowledgeable about 😉
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Any time! Hope all goes well. 😊
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🙂
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I’m glad it went well. And I’m glad you let your brother do some of the care taking. Sometimes my sister swoops in so fast to things I never get a chance to show my parents I care. It actually makes me feel awful, even though everyone knows that’s just how it plays out, no real worries. But still. Maybe your bro will have enjoyed the opportunity.
Heart.
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You’re right. I think he did feel good being there for Dad. Oh yeah that’s hard when your sister is a swooper. I think we should take turns. It’s healthier. Hugs to u!
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I find it hard to believe that Dad would have some smart ass comment there Boo Boo. I mean some of us have that sexy Irish blood and a gift for gab. yeh, maybe you’re confused just a tad and confusing smart ass with some sage advice. 😉
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LMAO! He said “No way sweetie! You know I’ll tell you if ur being a shithead haha”. We really should stop holding back with each other huh? Lol
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I so agree with everything you said at the end. Hope there isn’t too much stress put on you, don’t forget to take care of yourself in all of this.
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No I actually told my Dad n his gf tonight how I was feeling n they both just kissed, hugged me n told me not to be so hard on myself 🙂 That helped.
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