Blogging & Friendships

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I really hope I don’t upset or alienate anyone by writing down my thoughts. I have always been completely honest and upfront about difficult topics that most don’t like to discuss. There are so many amazingly supportive, kind, loving and special people that I consider true friends and this is NOT about them. But I think I’m beginning to get a little cynical about a few blogging friendships. Some people just disappear and go ghost on you and/or their blog, some do weird, uncomfortable things that eventually make you realize why they have no friends in real life lol and unfortunately for me, some (a few guys in the past that thankfully no longer blog) create relationships with you in their mind that aren’t real and have no basis in fact. And some just don’t really seem to care all that much I guess.

I think it definitely has to do with feelings of rejection. It took me a long time to get over P and let go of all of that. I guess no one likes rejection. Maybe if I had more experience with it, it would be easier for me? I don’t really know. But I will say that it really sucks to feel abandoned, unchosen, not good enough, etc. Even though it had very little to do with me and more to do with the situation, it still stung like a bitch! Lol So when people go ghost on blogs, it used to really upset me if I really liked them.

I’ve had a few posts dedicated to me, one sex dream posted and reposted (yeah, thanks buddy lol) about me, a poem for me, and a few apology posts written to me as well. I honestly don’t know whether it’s sad or funny because it’s happened 4 times now. If you have ever read my blog, you know that I have no problems discussing practically anything publicly.  But when I am hurt, pissed off or upset, especially with a fellow blogger that I consider a friend, that’s a private thing that I don’t always feel like sharing with 650 followers. Especially not until I have calmed down. I have the unique ability to shred someone into pieces with my words. It served me well in my youth and in debates. But now? I’m more mature and I know words can hurt someone as deeply as any physical wound. I’d rather not inflict pain on anyone, even if they have hurt me first. I like to think I’m getting in touch with my inner Dalai Lama and working on personal growth.

I guess it’s like any new endeavor. You learn as you go. You make mistakes but eventually you figure out what and who matters and what doesn’t.  

I apologize if this post is a little jumbled and all over the map but I think that’s because my head is a little jumbled and all over the map today lol.

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48 thoughts on “Blogging & Friendships

  1. XandrewX says:

    I don’t mind if this reply is public or not lol all good good! The reason I’m here? I’m a nightmare on Hotmail and at all email full stop, always have been, but I’m more intelligent perceptive and knowing than I think you think I am (a mouthful), I don’t know but hopefully a yes. I find email a frustration because I’m not a natural born writer simple as that! I finished schooling at 16 and spent the remainder of my life at Technical College, heavy engineering and finally the University point is I gave up English Literature and Language in my teens so consequently I don’t convey my feelings and personality as well as I hope for, hence the need for a second email minutes later, I’m not stupid and yes I have AvPD very perceptive of you Emma, but I’m not unintelligent is a better word than stupid and I can handle lol being cut up by words all day without fear of offense. I understand completely that I gauge the content of my emails incorrectly, you Cara also Julie wanted to get to know me which was sweet understandable and deeply appreciated but I only gave silly anecdotes in return, I realise I tried tooo hard to be amusing entertaining interesting, however I’d retort what am I supposed to do talk about the weather? What I’m having for dinner lol? Or a masturbation story trouble is yes silly stories gives the impression of weirdo! I’m not but yes anything sexual makes me laugh you know that. If anything I’ve not been able to work out what a lady would like from me as far as content, I’m absolutely shit, f’ing awful at trying to read the female mind? They are a totally different unfathomable animal lol.

    Yes I find replying with something that people will gauge as exciting a bit of a pressure BUT I 100% understand I was the one who instigated and I’m the one who wanted to start correspondence, all me and I loved that you said the scooter picture was cute.

    As you’ll have worked out by now this isn’t a whinging clingy ‘letter’ only a divorce, my biggest fear here has been coming across as ‘poor little me’ ‘please feel sorry for me’ when nothing is farther than the truth, I try to be entertaining to avoid being pitied, weird? Definitely no, am I Streetwise? Clever? Most definitely yes, I became an apprentice at 16, an intake year with 20 other young lads, the workplace was very different in the 80’s, incredibly back then industrial factories were hard working environments very very different to now, you’d spend 8 hours a day with one or two or three men you disliked, a guardian signs indentures and it’s near impossible to get out HOWEVER I loved every working day, once or twice I cried on the way home but the biggest mistake you could ever make was walk out, I say this only because I can handle being disliked, physical and mental bullying was rife within steel producing factories, some lads would fall by the wayside, some would be picked on, some victimized especially if you were Irish catholic, as for me I soon cottoned on to the game, I kept my mouth shut and learned how to avoid trouble and made alliances, not weaselly underhand neither a back stabber just learnt ways of keeping ahead of trouble…….oh yes very different than today…… back in the eighties there was no real employment law in Britain, the point to this tale, I’m not stupid and have learnt how to look after myself from a young age, yes streetwise, as for writing I’m f’ing useless, I’ll be stopping blogging soon NOT feeling sorry for myself only I’ve understood my limitations since day one, which I think breeds a lack of confidence lol no matter, no harm done as you once said I haven’t kicked any puppies………. in fact many times I’ve made the point I’m not a blogger, no way, I’m a WordPresser who every so often publishes something that catches my imagination on that day and the next post will be totally different, all in the hope of being entertaining, works for me ladies find me funny, I make some ladies laugh and I love that.

    Too long I know.

    Sharing Private thoughts about us, putting our argument out there for the world to see was a big mistake massive misjudgment, I upset you which I’ll always regret, I should have emailed but thought I’d caused enough pain that night and I know you were concerned by my silence sorry, same with Julie I was crap at email and upset her! Emma I’ve unfollowed from your blog, only reason so that you can write with impunity honesty, revealing your personality and thoughts that you do so well knowing that I’ll not be reading, I’ve unfollowed so that I won’t read and you can feel relaxed that I won’t be eaves dropping on private conversations, hanging around quietly listening which makes me nothing better than a troll voyeur, I’m a nice man who thinks highly of you because you wear your heart on your sleeve. I’m not angry or annoyed everything is lovely fluffy and cool, lol you can say what you wish to me lol but I won’t ever hold a grudge be offended or angry, no I’ll maybe be no more than a little hurt which is solvable by just walking away no hard feelings and every word we’ve spoken of will remain secret……….I’ve lived a double life despised hated by many, namely expensive prostitutes, consequently I’m a past master at keeping secrets and I’m pleased the whole blogging community are just as discreet. So like I said I’ve a few special posts for someone then I’m calling it a day. Lol don’t worry I’ll never post an apology or anything personal again 🙂 (This of course is deletable if you wish , better than Hotmail)

    So there you have it, a happy closure, as for Hotmail I’ll never embark on an email relationship with a lady again lol, a tremendous pressure trying to come up with something personal revealing interesting intelligent all with appropriate nuances, emails which are coherent and actually mean something and all conveyed in two paragraphs once a week! An f’ing nightmare and near impossible, are blogging relationships a good idea? You have to decide, are you right to be cynical referring back to online friendships? I’d say cynical is the wrong word because it infers the sender is being dishonest but in truth a blog relationship isn’t a way of making true meaningful relationships, not in two paragraphs couple of times a week, they’ll never make you me anyone happy and fulfilled, stick to comments/replies and yes meeting people physically is best………. I’ve ALWAYS been deeply suspicious of on line socialising, when you can’t read someones face also body language, trying to have on line conversations that means something is absolutely impossible, you miss tooo much and you read into things which are plainly wrong.

    Emma you know I’m not angry, a little confused as to why you’ve posted ‘blogging friendships’, has it upset me? Yes a tiny bit and that’s perfectly ok because I’ve a thick kind skin. However if I’ve freaked you out with some of my written diatribe then I apologise but I’m far from weird, WordPress is the only on line socialising I’ve ever gotten involved with, I seem to shy away from personal and yes find more amusement in talking about Paola’s breasts because she enjoys the banter, talking sex with you has been a monumental mistake a big misjudgment, did I freak you out saying I think of you, picture your face throughout the day? Maybe but I can assure you this ‘stuff’ comes out my mind as I’m writing, yes when I’m bored I do recall posts and stories, only because when you sit watching a milling machine take a cut for 10 minutes you need something stimulating to take your mind off boredom. I’m genuinely sorry if I freaked you out, nothing more than me trying tooo hard to be interesting and not handling the pressure well…………. though I’VE NEVER ONCE LIED here on WordPress! Sad? In the spirit of total honesty lol yes I’m sad, age 50 with no partner is excruciatingly depressing and sad but there you are, a lot’s gone on in my lifetime to have ended up alone, tooo long to explain in a two paragraph email……….we all have life stories that shape how we end up.

    So don’t think to bad of me Emma, through my shit emailing skills I lol pissed off three ladies by the end, like you I’m a nice person, and Emma I only wish you happiness but know that’s SO hard to do

    I’m far from annoyed or angry truth is I’ve enjoyed your company 🙂 Andrew x

    (Btw written straight off only a little for thought, no editing no cutting and pasting only a spell check)

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmagc75 says:

      Wow Andrew that’s a lot to take in. Thanks for letting me know how u feel. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say except I’m sorry you’re upset. I don’t know why you have to be so dramatic but I respect your feelings. Good luck n please know you’re always welcome here. Hugs to u!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mr Modigliani says:

    I think the best blog relationships I have had are when I took my my guts (my truth) and put them all on the table at the beginning of the relationship. Those friendships have been wonderful and durable over a period of years

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Megan says:

    I can relate to this, there are a few bloggers who I used to follow who have since stopped blogging and I often wonder what they’re up to now.

    Recently I needed a break from my blog to finally draw the line between ‘then’ and ‘now’. It helped, so whilst I may go quiet from time to time I don’t plan on disappearing.

    Oh, and btw, you’ve got mail 😀 ❤ x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Rita says:

    Hey, Dali Lama ❤️. Sometimes people like me just go through seasons where I have to change constantly or I feel like I’m dying a bit. But I hang on to the life rafts (like you) while I get my shit together. I thinks it’s a 57-year itch 😜

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmagc75 says:

      I certainly did not mean you silly! You didn’t disappear Rita n if u do I can email u lol. We all will come to the end here eventually and that’s a healthy, good thing. I think that’s what I needed to work through. That while difficult, change n growth is necessary. I’m glad you’re true to yourself. It’s how I try to live my life. Night my friend n hugs xo!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Tony Burgess says:

    I follow a lot of blogs too and I get overwhelmed like others have said here. You worry sometimes if your next post will offend someone deeply but you gotta be true to yourself and remember this is your space and other folks have the choice to follow or not. Keep on blogging!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    I agree with your thought(s) on this. I too am very open and honest about what I blog, however I don’t talk about everything. There are just some things that are too personal or I simply don’t want to discuss publicly.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. laurelwolfelives says:

    I’m not sure what a “ghost blog” is. Is that somebody who is anonymous? I only have 112 followers and I try to read every single post, comment on them and like them. I enjoy them so much and I am so grateful that I have the few followers I do have. I’m with creative….I have followers who I consider to be “friends.” I ache for and with them. I laugh at and with them. I try to be as supportive as I can. They are so, so special to me…and that includes YOU.
    And, one thing that I admire more than anything is complete honesty…that, you have.

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmagc75 says:

      Yeah til I put my foot in my mouth lol. No it means they just disappear. I’m very happy to be included in your group of friends laurel because you’re special too! Hugs xo.

      Like

  8. idioglossiablog says:

    I hate that you felt this way. It made me think about how many other bloggers out there that might feel the same way. My blog is not a popular blog by any means, but it’s something that I love to do. I think it’s one of the few things that I do completely for myself. One of the reasons I chose not to share it with my family, or friends. I like the feeling that if someone does read, or connect to it anyway it’s because there was some personal message I was suppose to get from the reader, or maybe them from me. LOL I know that sounds a little crazy, but I love the notion that the “Universe” works that way. There is never enough time to read all the great posts out there. That’s the biggest downfall when it comes to blogging. Your one of a kind, and one of my favorites. G-uno

    Liked by 1 person

  9. XandrewX says:

    🙂 I to appreciate honesty, I will never be angry with you Emma, never ever and don’t worry I’m not upset, my take if we write a blog then we have to be completely open honest and truthful or what’s the point lol then of course take on board every word in reply. A little uncomfortable reading Emma I’m not gonna lie, or go all ‘drama queen’ on you because I understand completely both sentiment and where you’re coming from, long distance relationships are difficult at the best of times but when you’re a ‘pen pal’ I think it’s even more difficult, unless you are a skilled enough wordsmith able to convey ones feelings skilfully and understand the nuances contained in replies blogging friendships are difficult, and I know lol your post is not all about me (no toys thrown out of pram here!), I’m fine maybe a touch hurt at ‘some do weird, uncomfortable things that eventually make you realize why they have no friends in real life lol’, but there you are, a touch confused maybe but it’s all good good. You are a lovely kind lady Emma, can I say something without a single hint of malice, perhaps you’ve reached a blogging point where the fun you once appreciated and loved has now disappeared? Maybe your blog has reached a point where what you really need is to reach out to true physical friends for friendship love and support, maybe a couple of paragraphs each day just aren’t sufficient to build a lasting on-line cyberspace friendship? I don’t know what to say really except I’ve read your thoughts over the last 6 months and understand you more than you know (each of us are the same) . Andrew

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmagc75 says:

      Actually that part wasn’t about you at all Andrew. It was a very strange guy that used to blog last year. But you are right about seeing friends. I’m having lunch Friday with a great friend I’ve known since we were 7 and will be having dinner with hubby n friends of ours next weekend. How’s your week going?

      Liked by 1 person

  10. sonofabeach96 says:

    I don’t know how many followers you have, but I’m sure it’s a bunch. They likely have a bunch too. It’s exceptionally hard to keep up. I try, but life happens, ya know. The journey of “blogging” is entirely different to each of us, and I’m sure some just stop, cold turkey. I may sometime too. Or you might. Don’t take it personally. You rock!
    As for the other stuff, I’d just forget that and move along. Nothing there to see. 😃

    Liked by 2 people

  11. creativerational says:

    I have recently been looking at all the blogs I follow and feeling overwhelmed. I can’t keep up, and my reading and commenting gravitates toward people I connect with. I feel like I might slight people if I unfollow them, when really I like their journey, but it really isn’t their story I am interested in, it’s connecting to people. And I am drawn to people with similar stories and humours. Anxiety, affairs, and cynicism. Other stuff is falling away from my priority and I am ok with that, and I hope they will be to. This post seems similar- very “it’s sometimes not you, it’s Me”

    Liked by 5 people

  12. acquiescent72 says:

    Our blogs are always individualized in the sense that we are only capable of discussing our own thoughts, feelings and emotions. You can’t be any more responsible for someone else’s opinions than you can of theirs.

    Liked by 1 person

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