About

I am 39 years old and married. After living in a sexless marriage for years, I had an affair for almost 2 years.  Like most affairs do, it ended painfully after he decided to stay. My husband and I are working to rebuild our marriage. My husband had a 4 month affair 7 years ago with a coworker. We went to counseling but he stopped wanting sex and refused to see a doctor.  He has recently gone to the doctor. We thought he had low testosterone but its on the low side of normal. But he does have a severe vitamin B deficiency and things are starting to improve, slowly.

H knows everything and has never left me.  He seems to really want to fix our relationship and I have hope for the first time in years.

I can honestly say I never ever wanted or expected to be either a betrayed spouse or the other woman.  But I have been both and now wish I had been neither.  I told my husband I needed sex and that I would cheat if things didn’t change.  Obviously they didn’t and so I did.

That doesn’t excuse or condone cheating.  Affairs only seem like a good idea when you are knee deep in one. But this is my story and I will not apologize to anyone except my H for pain I have caused.