I Will

Yes-I-will

I will be true to myself
I will not chase after anyone ever again.
I will never have another affair.
I will not text or call the Putz because I’m upset or bored.
I will take better care of myself and my heart.
I will be good to myself.
I will stop breaking my own heart over and over again
by caring for someone I shouldn’t.
I will stop giving room in my life to people
who don’t deserve to be there.
I will love myself more than I love anyone else.
I will enjoy my own company more.
I will be stronger and face my fears.
I will not let fear, obligation or guilt keep me trapped.
I will go where the love is!

Loving Myself

For so long I thought it was him I was meant to love.  But it was really me I was meant to find.

I love myself and it is amazing!  It feels so good and brings me so much peace and joy.  I don’t need any man to love me.  None of us NEED someone else to love.  It’s wonderful and beautiful, but not NECESSARY to be happy.

As long as I love myself, I can be whole and happy.  I have always had a good self-image because I had parents who told me I was beautiful, special and amazing.  Which anyone with depression knows, is exactly the opposite of how you feel when you are in a depression.  I felt weak, crazy, lazy and worthless.  Even though I know I’m none of those things, it’s what the disease makes you think.  My family, most of all my parents, kept me going when I didn’t think I would be able to.

I don’t think I have really loved myself for a long time.  Definitely not since my Mom died and the last year was torture.  I kept telling myself if P loved me, I would be happy and complete.

But even when he did, I wasn’t truly whole or happy for long.  That had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me.  No one is responsible for my happiness but me.

Such a simple concept but something I had lost sight of for a while.  I’m so glad I finally remembered 🙂