P served so so with separation papers. It’s a long, messy tale. Basically, after going back to her as she asked him to do, doing everything and anything in his power to repair his broken marriage and keep his family intact for the last 11 months without any significant improvement? He knew something wasn’t right as they still have not been intimate (it’s been 3 1/2 years now) beyond a few kisses and some rubbing. She just kept saying she needs time. Well she has been having an affair for almost a year and has had other brief affairs in the past. He saw her passcode and found nude photos, texts, and evidence that she even paid for the hotel and bought this guy gifts!!
I honestly think he would’ve forgiven all of this as he had an affair too. But she has said such horrible, disgusting and demeaning things about him over and over to the point that his Mom read them and was completely horrified and shocked. It’s become completely obvious that she hates P and has for a long time. She is a sick and evil woman and I feel so sorry for their kids. The way she ridiculed his attempts to be sweet to her are just so completely mean and nasty.
She constantly laughs at him, calls him her bitch and says he will never leave her!!! For their 20th Anniversary, he took her to a broadway show and bought her a Michael Kors purse, perfume and a card. She laughed when telling her OM how she got him nothing, not even a card and how she returned the really nice purse just to upset him.
He says he was finally ready to get out but knew he was and is addicted to the narcissistic cycle of abuse he has endured for over 20 years. He has told his Mom and sisters because he knew it would be like an insurance policy. After all these years, he doesn’t trust himself and needs to ensure that he cannot go back to her.
So in true narcissistic fashion, she is feverishly hoovering, trying to be sweet and saying what’s the rush? She has NOT called the attorney/mediator to schedule an appointment as she has promised to do for the last few days. She says she’s worried about the kids. Bullshit!! She’s worried that she will have to actually BE a Mother and spend extended periods of time with her own children rather than at the gym and with the om. But I believe P is still by far her biggest source of narcissistic supply. I don’t see her giving that up willingly or easily. She likes to see him miserable and lonely. He has allowed her to make him feel worthless and that’s just sad.
While we all want to hear good things about ourselves from family and friends, we value them even when it’s not forthcoming. Many of us have even learned to appreciate those who tactfully share with us negative feedback. This is certainly not the case with Narcissists. They ONLY value those who feed their craving for something called “narcissistic supply.” Children–especially young ones–are good sources of supply, along with other family members and friends they can control and dominate.
I am just really glad that he and his family have finally seen exactly who she is. But rest assured, I cannot be involved in any of this crazy circus. I have not forgiven him for the way he has treated me and for choosing to stay miserable and unloved.
After all the years he’s wasted? After decades of narcissistic abuse? I feel sorry for him but I know he is his own worst enemy. He always has been. And while it breaks my heart to know how broken he is, I have seen nothing yet to make me want to see him or allow him back in my life.