Women narcissists often are also diagnosed with the subset Histrionic Personality Disorder:
A personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious.
They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others. Associated features may include egocentrism, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, feelings that are easily hurt, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.
Female narcissists focus more heavily on physical appearance that male narcissists. They often overestimate their own attractiveness, and focus on displaying or flaunting physical attributes. Scientists think there may be a link between narcissism and anorexia or bulimia.
In summary, female narcissists see their lives as a running feature film with them in the lead, receiving accolades at all times. Women narcissists in their 30s and 40s who are unhappily single will generally blame their unpartnered state on being too independent, feisty, strong-minded, intimidating and intelligent for most men. Or they blame their usually unhappy marriages on their abused and manipulated spouses because they haven’t done enough or given them enough. But this is just another manipulation, as nothing is ever enough for the narcissist. They have little self-awareness.
How to Identify a Female Narcissist
- She dresses provocatively, flaunting sexually suggestive body parts.
- She focuses attention on makeup and hair, even for the most mundane tasks or events, getting the mail from the mailman for instance.
- She is overly confident about her looks. Research shows that narcissists are no more attractive than other people, but they believe they are much better looking than other women.
- She places high value on brand names, and feels entitled to wear “the best.” She frequently purchases new clothing, and does not distinguish between wants and needs.
- She is more likely to have plastic surgery, most commonly breast augmentation.
- She enjoys being photographed, and often asks others to snap her picture. She enthusiastically shares the best pics of herself on Facebook, Instagram or other social media sites. She will sometimes invest in a professional photographer for a portrait that she uses on Facebook or for online dating. Almost all of her many many pictures are usually only of her, not of her family.
- She insists on being the center of attention, and is often the most charming person in the room. Some Narcissists are very outgoing and excel at marketing themselves. Except covert narcissists who are shyer and more introverted than their overt narcissistic counterparts.
- She often seeks favorable treatment, and automatic compliance. She believes that she is special, and that she deserves fame, fortune, success and happiness.
- She is highly materialistic.
- She is prone to envy, though she presents as supremely confident. She seeks opportunities to undermine others, and enjoys sharing confidences about how the two of you are better than others.
- She is convinced that others are envious and jealous of her, and often uses this excuse for her lack of real, intimate friendships. When her friends enjoy successes of their own, she finds ways to punish them by downplaying their achievements.
- She lacks empathy, and even common courtesy at times. She puts others down, including you. She does not hesitate to exploit others.
- She is very competitive.
- She believes that she is superior to her peers.
- She blames others for problems. Narcissists don’t believe that they make mistakes, and lack the ability to process shame.
- She displays a haughty attitude when she lets her guard down or is confronted. She will act impatient, arrogant and condescending. She will often excuse her own shortcomings by claiming that others are pressuring her or expecting too much of her.
- She is dishonest and often lies to get what she wants. She will never admit this.
- She is “psycho:” She engages in risky behaviors, has an addictive personality, and is prone to aggressive behavior when rejected. (Note: This is most common with Histrionic Personality Disorder.)
- She is unpredictable in her moods and actions. You have trouble figuring out what she wants and where you stand.
- She is capable of short-term regret, and will apologize profusely if backed into a corner. However, she will quickly rationalize her behavior and return to narcissistic patterns.
A woman doesn’t need to have all 20 of these traits to make a lousy relationship partner. If you can check off even a few of these characteristics, you should head for the hills at 60 mph. The six traits related to physical appearance should be apparent immediately, or within a short time of meeting.
Narcissistic personality traits can be difficult to detect at first. Narcissists always make a strong showing right out of the gate, and it takes time for them to reveal their negative qualities. They will only do so when feeling threatened or that they are not receiving “their due” in some way.