For Those Suffering

sun thru cracks


And so this post is for you. For those whose suffering feels unnoticed. For those people who feel quietly stuck inside their mind. For those that feel hopeless. For those whose cries for help are mislabelled or misunderstood as cries for attention or flaws in their being. For the people who feel too tired to continue on. For people who struggle with depression and for people who don’t. For people who are having a bad day, a bad season, or a rough stretch of life. And for those people who don’t understand the illness but are willing to try. It’s okay – whatever you need, wherever you are, however long it takes – it’s okay. There is still time. To ask for help. To grow. To heal. To recover. There is still time for the sunshine to begin to seep through the cracks. For a flower to grow straight from your heart. ~Jessica Jensen

Can’t Explain It

Did you ever have one of those weeks where nothing really bad happened but you just felt sad, exhausted and just yucky?  I haven’t been sleeping a lot which is probably the main reason. 

I just feel kind of defeated and wondering why? I really hope it’s temporary but I definitely need a vacation just to relax and recharge.

This little community of bloggers have made me feel safe, understood and given me a lot of inspiration.  But like anywhere else, there’s always people that feed off drama and conflict.

I should be grateful actually. As a result, I now know better who matters and who doesn’t. But it always hurts to realize you only matter to someone if you agree with their choices. I honestly hope people that care about me would stop me before I dive off a cliff. I identified with this woman very much and seeing her take 10 steps back scares me. Will that happen to me? Will I just allow someone to hurt n betray me over n over again and keep going back for more? I really truly hope not. But how do I know? I never thought she would but she has.

If your love or even your communication has to be hidden from others, it’s probably NOT a true and lasting love. And the person you will end up hurting most is yourself.  Yes you can’t choose who you fall in love with. But you can choose to either stand up and declare your love, live in the open or pretend it’s true love in secret and watch it wither and die. 

Life is too short for all these secret affairs that do nothing but waste years of your life. Please take it from someone who was in one and never ever expected to be.

Someone I thought was a friend turned out not to be because I told her what everyone else is thinking. Her ex-AP now has a blog (no biggie freedom of speech right?) But now this twit is everywhere I go and making the most hypocritical comments imaginable!! He actually had the audacity to lecture another blogger about how not sharing all the info is lying. This from a man who is currently talking to his ex-mistress and his poor wife has absolutely no idea!

So if she hadn’t crawled back n begged him to talk to her, then told him about her blog, the rest of us wouldn’t have to be affected by her dirty laundry. I guess that also upset me more than I realized.

Between that n my sicko stalker still harassing me, I just haven’t been my happy go lucky, smartass self lol.

But getting it all out always makes me feel so much better. I’m feeling better and stronger already.

Thank you to my fellow bloggers who always show love and support. Please feel free to kick my ass if I go cliffdiving k? 🙂

Song of the day

Today was a great day then it got a little difficult probably because I went to bed too late and the dreaded PMS (yes all the guys have immediately left the room I’m sure lol).

While this is not one of our songs, it always reminds me of P. I just want to remember him one day without all the pain and heartache. Unfortunately that day isn’t today.

I’m leaning into the curve, secure in the knowledge that tomorrow will be better and happier.