FB Isn’t Always the Devil

This post is petty and slightly meangirlish (new word lol) but not quite a rant.

As my relationship with P is now over (yes I know it’s been over for 8 months but my heart held on for a while and only recently got the memo :)), I allowed myself one last glance at his Facebook. I haven’t looked at his sister’s page in months. I was so very glad that I did.

So n so (aka the frigid narcissist) has been spending hours at the gym every day and night, rather than with her kids or husband.  I guess I just expected she was losing weight and getting toned. This is most definitely NOT the case! She looks absolutely horrible from the waist up!  Picture a big bulky bulging male bodybuilder with a woman’s face! Ewww NOT a good look. And she had on all ripped white jeans. She’s 46 not 20!

I know it makes me a bad person so please forgive me, but I was at once overjoyed and horrified. It was like watching a train wreck and I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

Knowing P is now obviously attracted to that Arnold Schwarzenegger type physique while I am blessed with the softer well-proportioned curves of Marilyn Monroe? LOL Well I’m really becoming okay with us not being together anymore!  I have lost so much love and respect for him.  How could he possibly ever be able to fix us?

Frankly when he told me he’s like the caring, sensitive Mom and she’s like the cold, distant Dad? I thought he was talking about personality only.  But now I wonder a little? Hmmm?? I know from his Mom he cried when both their kids were born, she never did.  Even my sis-in-law who is not emotional at all cried when my nieces and nephew were born!

What makes this just plain sad is that So so was a very pretty woman previously.  She has always been extremely superficial, shallow and vain. She wears TONS of layers of makeup and won’t even answer the door for the mailman without being all decked out.  
Beauty is HER THING, actually her only thing besides cutting hair.  It’s literally ALL she has going for her. Spends hours checking herself out in mirrors. P used to send pics of her doing it and honestly I thought it was funny, creepy but also pathetic.

We all want to look our best and be found beautiful and sexy. But what about developing your mind or improving your heart and helping people? Isn’t that much more beautiful than taking endless selfies and admiring yourself in a mirror? When people tell me I’m beautiful and pretty, I always hope they see more than my hair, boobs, eyes, etc. I like to think they see my good and loving heart 😉

At age 22 she was even on the cover of a local bridal magazine. But suprisingly she also has the HUGEST hands of any woman I have ever seen! (See video below lol) It was so noticeable they actually had to photoshop (this was pre-photoshop so whatever they used back then in the 80s) someone else’s hand into the photo! So now she has the man hands, man arms and man chest.  WOW! She can snap P like a twig and he’s not small lol. Definitely helps me not being attracted to him like I was before.

I always thought she would land on her feet (back when we had made plans to be together) as she’s a narcissist AND she was very pretty.  But now she has all these wrinkles and lines on her face that even makeup cannot disguise.  Her looks are fading extremely fast and of course I think this is just as it should be.  I guess eventually who you are inside catches up with who you are outside.  She had absolutely everyone fooled except P and kids for over 20 years!!!! So if u think about it, that’s actually a pretty good run.

I start to pity her but then I think of all the pain, misery and dysfunction her selfishness, lies and manipulations have caused.  It’s bad enough to call your husband a pervert for wanting to have sex with you, never show him love or affection.  Then after years of neglect, when he goes and finds that love and affection, he’s the horrible monster. Regardless, he’s an adult and he puts up with the sick twisted games, the ignoring unless she needs something and he’s the chump that is WASTING his entire life day after day.

But those kids!  Their son is 17 and can’t even use the urinal at school because So so taught P and later son to wipe with toilet paper after they pee!!!  Shaking is not good enough for the narcissist!! She doesn’t have a penis, but sure she’s qualified to tell you what to do with that penis!?!?!?  WTF?!?!? Last summer P had a paper cut on his penis! I am not even making that up lol. Guys is this not controlling, demented and bizarre?

To So so I say:
Keep spending hours at the gym bulking up to look like a man with your back bulging freakishly out of a tank top.  Keep ignoring the fact that your daughter needs serious help and that she deserves a lot more of your time and your attention. NOT MORE TOYS AND THINGS SO YOU CAN BUY HER LOVE while spending NO TIME WITH HER! Oh and taking her to the gym so she can use the pool while you work out, ignore her and video yourself for instagram?? IT’S PATHETIC AND DOESN”T FRIGGIN COUNT!!!

To P:  What the hell happened to that amazingly loving, funny and strong man I loved? I hope one day you stop being in denial and I hope by then you haven’t wasted your whole adult life, alone and without any love or affection.  But if you have, you will have no one but yourself to blame.  Stop being addicted to her abuse and GET YOURSELF REAL HELP QUALIFIED TO DEAL WITH NARCISSISTIC ABUSE for you and the kids!!!!  The sooner they know it is not their fault she is the way she is, the better off they will be!

Good luck buddy!  You are gonna need it!  You certainly did not take any of my advice and you have certainly NOT Gone Where the Love Is!