FB Isn’t Always the Devil

This post is petty and slightly meangirlish (new word lol) but not quite a rant.

As my relationship with P is now over (yes I know it’s been over for 8 months but my heart held on for a while and only recently got the memo :)), I allowed myself one last glance at his Facebook. I haven’t looked at his sister’s page in months. I was so very glad that I did.

So n so (aka the frigid narcissist) has been spending hours at the gym every day and night, rather than with her kids or husband.  I guess I just expected she was losing weight and getting toned. This is most definitely NOT the case! She looks absolutely horrible from the waist up!  Picture a big bulky bulging male bodybuilder with a woman’s face! Ewww NOT a good look. And she had on all ripped white jeans. She’s 46 not 20!

I know it makes me a bad person so please forgive me, but I was at once overjoyed and horrified. It was like watching a train wreck and I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

Knowing P is now obviously attracted to that Arnold Schwarzenegger type physique while I am blessed with the softer well-proportioned curves of Marilyn Monroe? LOL Well I’m really becoming okay with us not being together anymore!  I have lost so much love and respect for him.  How could he possibly ever be able to fix us?

Frankly when he told me he’s like the caring, sensitive Mom and she’s like the cold, distant Dad? I thought he was talking about personality only.  But now I wonder a little? Hmmm?? I know from his Mom he cried when both their kids were born, she never did.  Even my sis-in-law who is not emotional at all cried when my nieces and nephew were born!

What makes this just plain sad is that So so was a very pretty woman previously.  She has always been extremely superficial, shallow and vain. She wears TONS of layers of makeup and won’t even answer the door for the mailman without being all decked out.  
Beauty is HER THING, actually her only thing besides cutting hair.  It’s literally ALL she has going for her. Spends hours checking herself out in mirrors. P used to send pics of her doing it and honestly I thought it was funny, creepy but also pathetic.

We all want to look our best and be found beautiful and sexy. But what about developing your mind or improving your heart and helping people? Isn’t that much more beautiful than taking endless selfies and admiring yourself in a mirror? When people tell me I’m beautiful and pretty, I always hope they see more than my hair, boobs, eyes, etc. I like to think they see my good and loving heart 😉

At age 22 she was even on the cover of a local bridal magazine. But suprisingly she also has the HUGEST hands of any woman I have ever seen! (See video below lol) It was so noticeable they actually had to photoshop (this was pre-photoshop so whatever they used back then in the 80s) someone else’s hand into the photo! So now she has the man hands, man arms and man chest.  WOW! She can snap P like a twig and he’s not small lol. Definitely helps me not being attracted to him like I was before.

I always thought she would land on her feet (back when we had made plans to be together) as she’s a narcissist AND she was very pretty.  But now she has all these wrinkles and lines on her face that even makeup cannot disguise.  Her looks are fading extremely fast and of course I think this is just as it should be.  I guess eventually who you are inside catches up with who you are outside.  She had absolutely everyone fooled except P and kids for over 20 years!!!! So if u think about it, that’s actually a pretty good run.

I start to pity her but then I think of all the pain, misery and dysfunction her selfishness, lies and manipulations have caused.  It’s bad enough to call your husband a pervert for wanting to have sex with you, never show him love or affection.  Then after years of neglect, when he goes and finds that love and affection, he’s the horrible monster. Regardless, he’s an adult and he puts up with the sick twisted games, the ignoring unless she needs something and he’s the chump that is WASTING his entire life day after day.

But those kids!  Their son is 17 and can’t even use the urinal at school because So so taught P and later son to wipe with toilet paper after they pee!!!  Shaking is not good enough for the narcissist!! She doesn’t have a penis, but sure she’s qualified to tell you what to do with that penis!?!?!?  WTF?!?!? Last summer P had a paper cut on his penis! I am not even making that up lol. Guys is this not controlling, demented and bizarre?

To So so I say:
Keep spending hours at the gym bulking up to look like a man with your back bulging freakishly out of a tank top.  Keep ignoring the fact that your daughter needs serious help and that she deserves a lot more of your time and your attention. NOT MORE TOYS AND THINGS SO YOU CAN BUY HER LOVE while spending NO TIME WITH HER! Oh and taking her to the gym so she can use the pool while you work out, ignore her and video yourself for instagram?? IT’S PATHETIC AND DOESN”T FRIGGIN COUNT!!!

To P:  What the hell happened to that amazingly loving, funny and strong man I loved? I hope one day you stop being in denial and I hope by then you haven’t wasted your whole adult life, alone and without any love or affection.  But if you have, you will have no one but yourself to blame.  Stop being addicted to her abuse and GET YOURSELF REAL HELP QUALIFIED TO DEAL WITH NARCISSISTIC ABUSE for you and the kids!!!!  The sooner they know it is not their fault she is the way she is, the better off they will be!

Good luck buddy!  You are gonna need it!  You certainly did not take any of my advice and you have certainly NOT Gone Where the Love Is!

 

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58 thoughts on “FB Isn’t Always the Devil

  1. lynneggleton says:

    This is hilarious! I guarantee you most people THINK many of these things – you were just brave enough to post it. I am sure this is part of your healing process too, but I was thoroughly entertained!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A Journey With You says:

    I’m not going to guess at what you are feeling, but I do have to applaud your efforts to write it out. Writing is such a great way to express things we may never say. I received homework yesterday from part of my treatment team to write a letter to someone that I would never send. I haven’t started yet, but I am sure it will be beneficial. Keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. willytyme says:

    They say the Justice is blind and if that’s the case then trust me, Love has no eyes at all. To this day, people still don’t know what love is but it’s very blind. I too sometimes look at a couple and think either one of the lost a bet but that’s the human mentality of how I used to be. People chose their own bed and whether they decide to lay in it or not is up to them and sometimes beyond us. The mistake people make is that they close the door but fail to lock it which makes them liable to fall back into the illusion of love that they lived in. It’s good you finally moved on but talking about him is just a simmering memory waiting to ignite again. People make choices out of guilt, regret, love or illusions. It’s always one of those, if he chooses to stay with a tyrant then so be it, perhaps ill will would harbor because of his choice but in the end it was his mistake, and if a person can’t learn the lesson presented then shame on them. You can only teach so much, but you can want to learn so much. As long as you are happy doing what you do and are doing then that’s all that matters because in the end I always pick the side that’s going to win. That’s my side, or in your case it should be your side that you should pick. Stay strong and stay beautiful inside, take his errors in stride. Never keep something around cause it looks good if it doesn’t work for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • emmagc75 says:

      Thank you. I agree people make their own bed n own choices. I write to heal, understand, learn, let go and move on. I am definitely happier without his dysfunction and whether he learns or not is all up to him. I’m stronger for having loved him. I always felt he didn’t choose me but that had little to do with me. It was about him, his fear n his anxiety. He said he’s very unhappy but he’s more comfortable that way. It’s all he knows. I haven’t spent half my life with a covert narcissist, he has. So I wish him luck but I know I’m better off without him. Took me a while but I’m sure of it. Be well xo

      Liked by 1 person

  4. loveandwanderingfeet says:

    nailed it! my fav part was telling her to keep bulking up at the gym! sometimes, the mean girl in is just needs to vent. i’m so impressed with you and the way you’ve dealt with it all. i look up to you. thanks for the post! xo

    Liked by 1 person

  5. datingwhilemarried says:

    I think you are still hurting much…trying to put her down for what she looks like and putting him down for choosing to love her.
    You forgot one thing…we’re the other woman. They will always chose the wife.
    We’re their escape from that reality. But they chose to marry who they whole heartedly love.
    Your post shows much more your pain than how horrible she looks.
    I wish you healing….
    My J has nor chosen his wife over me…she is filing for divorce and even thou I think he loves me with all he is…he loves her as well and he is hurting.
    Is a tough spot to be in. Seeing this man I love ….in pain over losing his marriage…knowing all along that he could get caught.
    He said…in would give up everything to be close to you….
    I now can see that those words were strong but he didn’t understand the pain they would bring.

    I wish you healing

    Liked by 2 people

    • emmagc75 says:

      Thankfully, no I’m not hurting and there is no wholehearted love lol. He knows now except for a few years when kids were small, there was never any love or even basic human affection. Ur barking up the wrong tree on that one lol. I think ur projecting.

      He’s addicted to the cycle of abuse from a narcissist and so very scared. He actually said that last we spoke. I know P is hurting mourning the inevitable loss of his family and that’s why when he begged me to see him 2 weeks ago I refused. Unless he changes his life, he isnt supposed to contact me. He also told admitted last week I’m his soulmate. Even his Mom needed to speak to the woman her son “loves so much”. Not ur typical ow or have u spoken to “your J’s” mom? Honestly, u must not read my blog. I really don’t think you know what you’re talking about but thank you for the good wishes. Good luck n I hope you’re able to stop living 2 half lives. I am happy now n I hope someday you are too.

      Liked by 1 person

      • datingwhilemarried says:

        Ouch…I was only trying to help. You’re welcome. I have not insulted you…yet you did.
        Is ok you’re hurting…if you wouldn’t be …8 months later you’d be happy…
        Obviously you’re not.
        Actually…if not projecting at all…
        But that’s ok.
        J has told his wife and his friends he is in love with me…half lives???
        I don’t think that’s the case…
        I have 2 men that love me very much…that’s a good thing…what’s not fun is that I’ll have to chose. But I always chose me and that’s a decision I’m happy with.
        Have an amazing other 8 months…hopefully not hurting.
        Take care.

        Like

        • emmagc75 says:

          I didn’t insult you. Insulting u would’ve been to point out P never gave her my information even when she demanded it unlike “your J”. And when P told her he was leaving, she knew about me for over a year. If u don’t think U were condescending by saying” My J didn’t choose his wife over me” I don’t know what to tell u. She gave him the boot, he didnt have a choice. Plz stop deluding yourself.
          Ok um do u read what u write? I have 2 men who love me very much n that’s a good thing? What’s not fun is I have to choose? WOW! Lady ur having an affair! It’s not a good thing!! Lol

          Liked by 2 people

            • emmagc75 says:

              Ive never judged you (u asked us not to in a recent post remember?) and wouldn’t have if u hadn’t judged me. But 2 wrongs don’t make a right so I really do apologize. It’s not an easy situation I’m sure. Your heart loves them both. What will you do? And honestly I am happy but yes still healing 🙂

              Liked by 2 people

        • emmagc75 says:

          And actually they just told kids they’re separating so again choosing to love her is incorrect? How could u possibly think ur condescending holier than thou diatribe would help me? Lol N FYI I said it was meangirl post MYSELF!

          Liked by 1 person

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