My Life in a Three Dimensional Shell
Things I used to trip on, I walk over now
Surviving Narcissistic Abuse | No Contact | Narcissists and Lying | Narcissistic Husband | Love Bombing | Cognitive Dissonance
Lost Soul
Just looking to make it out alive by figuring out things 10 ways at a time.
Have a fulfilling life sexually and every other way!
My Thoughts
~ super through Christ alone ~
Living, Loving, and Learning this BiPolar Life
music, mindfulness, community, strength
bipolar, uninterrupted
Gentleman with a hint of Spark. If you have any Questions you would like answered email GentlemanSparks@Gmail.com with the subject #ASKGS x
A man who had a simple mission: Get a date in 2016
me, my idiotic behaviour and my wish-to-have-boyfriends...
Life, Inspiration & Motivation
"Raising Consciousness, Challenging Oppression, Inspiring Action"
Creating Life Maps
A soft place to fall, some poetry, some stories some random thoughts but most of all a place that I hope blesses those who stop by.
Intuitive Life Coach & Spiritual Mentor
I’m really sorry for your struggles. If you can, talk him into trying testosterone therapy. that can make a real difference. My Man started it a year ago and it changed our lives.
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Thanks! Hopefully that’s what dr will recommend.
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Wish I can talk openly like you guys do but I can’t. It feels stuck inside?
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Stuck inside? I’m sorry Thumb. That must be painful. You can always email privately if u want or need to. Hope ur ok. Hugs!
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Empty
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Let me guess. You’re using iphone or something? I have heard GIF does not show up on whatever something like laptop.
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My phone but its a Samsung galaxy lol.
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AH HA! That’s why you can’t see the GIF!
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Awww
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YUP!
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I couldn’t live without intimacy either. Has he just not had any sex drive for years? It seems so strange to me that it’s gone on for so long
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It’s hard to believe I know. It was low yes then his Dad died a few years ago. And it’s been no libido ever since.
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I hope he speaks to a professional about it. A life without intimacy must be so lonely for you both 😦
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We’re still very affectionate but yes, it isn’t good for long-term happiness.
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Well, at least that’s something. There’s love & affection… So you’re halfway there! He’s just gotta want to put in work to get that other half back hang on in there! X
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Thanks! I’m trying 🙂
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What have you looked at to fix his lack of desire? I assume that you have done what you can to stay trim, etc. Have you looked at changing to a paleo diet? Maybe take up weight lifting (with barbells–machines are almost worthless)? Hunting? Archery? Target shooting?
I hear that watching porn can kill desire in men for a real partner. I don’t view it myself.
Best wishes!
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I’m even prettier now than when we married n yes have tried many things. I will look at Paleo diet but he hasn’t worked out in a long time n has gained weight. Thanks for the advice!
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My ex-boyfriend had some issues with his sexuality that I hope one day he talks to some therapist, counselor, specialist, expert – whatever – about. He had libido, but to him sexuality was to be lived individually, not to be shared with someone else. I don’t need to tell you that although it wasn’t the only reason why I broke up with him, it definitely weighed on my decision.
One of my best friends was once on some heavy antidepressants which took his libido away, and I remember he told me about how he and his girlfriend talked about it and tried to come up with a solution. ‘Cause I think that’s what you do when you care.
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Lived individually? Like masturbation? Gosh if that’s how hubby feels, I’m done lol. He says no but I think he definitely needs to talk to a sex therapist. We both do.
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Have you or he considered energy healing? It seems that he is way out of balance, that there he is blocked somewhere. Reiki can be a wonderful start to opening up the flow of energy throughout the body. Also acupuncture might help. Maybe go with him somewhere and do something intimate and relaxing…like getting massages together at a spa. It might loosen him up, it might be that the attention that’s on it now is making it harder. IDK. Just a few ideas. Good luck, xo
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That is a wonderful idea. Thank you. Do I just google Reiki? Lol
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You’d have to find a reiki practitioner in your area. Maybe you could google reiki practitioners in your location. Or energy healers. There are a few other modalities too.
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I will try that n let u know. Thnx!
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I’m sorry sis. I understand you’re hurting. Hoping this is the wake up call he needs. Sending you lots of hugs ! 😘
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Thanks sis! Hugs always help xo!
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You’ve been super-patient and understanding. It’s only fair that he takes into account your needs, and let’s face it, a good sex life and intimacy will benefit him too (and help his depression and grief).
I’m rooting for you both, but if nothing changes, then you need to do what’s best for you. x
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Thanks Megan! It would help us both tremendously. Fingers crossed lol.
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Don’t feel bad. We all have needs. I for one would not do well in a sexless marriage. That wouldn’t work for me at all so I commend you on going so long without it. You have needs and there is nothing wrong with that. He has needs as well. He needs to seek help for his depression. Hopefully he finds the help he needs so you can feel intimacy again.
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Thanks. I don’t know what will happen but we have to figure it out one way or another.
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And you will. Give it time. Go to counseling. Love is worth fighting for.
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It is but only if he fights too.
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Exactly the problem I encounter in my marriage. It seems like it’s so easy for him to let me go until I decide to leave. Then he cares a little. Idk. We’re good now so hopefully it continues to stay good. But you’re completely right. A marriage is between two and both sides have to work together to make it work.
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I know he loves me but without sex, I’m not interested in staying married another year. It’s that simple.
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I get that. Sex is very very important in a marriage.
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It really is!
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I’m glad it’s good n hope it continues. Hugs to u xo!
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We’ll see. I really hope so too
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Sounds like therapy is in order…
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Yes Juan, I think so too.
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I wish he could see that leaning in, leaning on you, finding a sanctuary in you, instead of leaning away.
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That part is definitely my fault too. I have been there before with no change so I have distanced myself to avoid rejection n pain.
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Fingers crossed for you guys. Hope it gets better, and you get some beginning of improvement. It’s big for him, whatever “it” is, and won’t likely change completely overnight. But some effort would be welcomed, I’m sure? Does he talk to you about any of what is going on with him?
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He wasn’t but has started to. No it won’t change overnight. And I know it will take both of us to fix things. Fingers crossed lol. Thnx son!
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Fingers crossed! 😊
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Remember we talked about listening for the answer….
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I’m listening and hearing 2 answers.
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As a neutral observer, it seems to me you have your answer and are working to talk yourself into the other one.
I know the decision isn’t easy. I wish you the best in making it.
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Because it is so very hard, scary and it sucks! Thank you for your honesty.
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Sorry to hear of your woes. If he’s still grieving he probably need some emotional support. Some people are unable to be intimate if their emotions are not quite there. He already lost his mom a couple months ago; pushing a divorce on him now will destroy him emotionally. Try and work with him. Let him make the next move concerning intimacy. Just be there for him emotionally.
Thanks for sharing. I hope you guys are able to resolve that matter soon 😉
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Yes but this has been going on for years Deanne n I just can’t keep staying.
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I’m sorry. I thought it was for 2 months. If it’s been years then you have to do what’s best for you. Hugs
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Thanks Deanne. Yes if this was just since he lost his Mom, I’d absolutely be a lot more patient n hopeful. But this has been an issue for years now and I’m at the end of my rope.
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Food for thought. If you feel like talking, willing to bend and ear.
http://justplainolvic.com/2015/03/14/bi-polar-disorder-sex-vs-intimacy/
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Thanks Vic! I will read this n might need that ear lol. Hugs to u xo!
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