20 Identifiable Traits of a Female Narcissist

Source: 20 Identifiable Traits of a Female Narcissist

Women narcissists often are also diagnosed with the subset Histrionic Personality Disorder:

A personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious.

They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others. Associated features may include egocentrism, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, feelings that are easily hurt, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.

Female narcissists focus more heavily on physical appearance that male narcissists. They often overestimate their own attractiveness, and focus on displaying or flaunting physical attributes. Scientists think there may be a link between narcissism and anorexia or bulimia.

In summary, female narcissists see their lives as a running feature film with them in the lead, receiving accolades at all times. Women narcissists in their 30s and 40s who are unhappily single will generally blame their unpartnered state on being too independent, feisty, strong-minded, intimidating and intelligent for most men.  Or they blame their usually unhappy marriages on their abused and manipulated spouses because they haven’t done enough or given them enough. But this is just another manipulation, as nothing is ever enough for the narcissist. They have little self-awareness.

How to Identify a Female Narcissist

Physical Appearance

1. She dresses provocatively, flaunting sexually suggestive body parts.
2. She focuses attention on makeup and hair, even for the most mundane tasks or events, getting the mail from the mailman for instance.
3. She is overly confident about her looks. Research shows that narcissists are no more attractive than other people, but they believe they are much better looking than other women.
4. She places high value on brand names, and feels entitled to wear “the best.” She frequently purchases new clothing, and does not distinguish between wants and needs.
5. She is more likely to have plastic surgery, most commonly breast augmentation.
6. She enjoys being photographed, and often asks others to snap her picture. She enthusiastically shares the best pics of herself on Facebook, Instagram or other social media sites. She will sometimes invest in a professional photographer for a portrait that she uses on Facebook or for online dating.  Almost all of her many many pictures are usually only of her, not of her family.

Personality/Character

1. She insists on being the center of attention, and is often the most charming person in the room. Some Narcissists are very outgoing and excel at marketing themselves. Except covert narcissists who are shyer and more introverted than their overt narcissistic counterparts.
2. She often seeks favorable treatment, and automatic compliance. She believes that she is special, and that she deserves fame, fortune, success and happiness.
3. She is highly materialistic.
4. She is prone to envy, though she presents as supremely confident. She seeks opportunities to undermine others, and enjoys sharing confidences about how the two of you are better than others.
5. She is convinced that others are envious and jealous of her, and often uses this excuse for her lack of real, intimate friendships. When her friends enjoy successes of their own, she finds ways to punish them by downplaying their achievements.
6. She lacks empathy, and even common courtesy at times. She puts others down, including you. She does not hesitate to exploit others.
7. She is very competitive.
8. She believes that she is superior to her peers.
9. She blames others for problems. Narcissists don’t believe that they make mistakes, and lack the ability to process shame.
10. She displays a haughty attitude when she lets her guard down or is confronted. She will act impatient, arrogant and condescending. She will often excuse her own shortcomings by claiming that others are pressuring her or expecting too much of her.
11. She is dishonest and often lies to get what she wants. She will never admit this.
12. She is “psycho:” She engages in risky behaviors, has an addictive personality, and is prone to aggressive behavior when rejected. (Note: This is most common with Histrionic Personality Disorder.)
13. She is unpredictable in her moods and actions. You have trouble figuring out what she wants and where you stand.
14. She is capable of short-term regret, and will apologize profusely if backed into a corner. However, she will quickly rationalize her behavior and return to narcissistic patterns.

A woman doesn’t need to have all 20 of these traits to make a lousy relationship partner. If you can check off even a few of these characteristics, you should head for the hills at 60 mph. The six traits related to physical appearance should be apparent immediately, or within a short time of meeting.

Narcissistic personality traits can be difficult to detect at first. Narcissists always make a strong showing right out of the gate, and it takes time for them to reveal their negative qualities. They will only do so when feeling threatened or that they are not receiving “their due” in some way.

Really Good Weekend!

Friday night I spent with my family celebrating my nephew’s 10th birthday. After the last few difficult weeks, it was really nice to just hang out with them, laugh, make fun of one another like we always do and just have a great time.  At one point, I was actually sitting in between my 2 brothers, which NEVER happens lol.  We don’t get to do it often enough lately with everyone busy with their own lives. So I really enjoyed myself and later realized how very much I needed to just BE with all of them.  They make me laugh, they bust my chops, they always manage to surprise me and rejuvenate my spirit. Like my one brother, who told me that my Mom has been speaking to him for a few years now!  My other brother and I just gawked at him open-mouthed, as he is a very black and white person and has NEVER ever said anything about this before lol.  I didn’t get to push him on the topic, as we were in a crowd of people, but you can be sure I will 🙂

Then Saturday I got my hair colored and blown out. It sucks getting older as you start getting gray streaks lol. I can’t really complain as I still look pretty young but that’s mostly genetics. I started to get a chest cold that afternoon but I ignored it as I had a friend’s 40th birthday bash to go to. My H wasn’t in the mood, which I totally understood. But he did drive me and pick me up so I could have a few cocktails, which I appreciated. Party was great and I had a lot of fun catching up with some friends. Mostly like a girl’s night as no one brought their hubbies lol.

Sunday I was in bed with my cold and slept a lot. Which actually was the best thing I could’ve done because it never went to bronchitis, which is usually what happens to me. So I just ate some ice cream and chicken soup for my throat and drank ginger ale. Very boring but definitely necessary.

Then today we went over to my MIL’s house to start getting ready for the huge estate/contents of house sale we are having in 2 weeks. Had a few antique dealers over to buy some things first. I did some research and between that and husband’s knowledge, we did pretty well. Everyone left happy and wanting more. I guess that’s a good thing. I know I was a lot more emotionally invested when it was my Mom’s stuff we were selling. But they have a lot of stuff and H has taken all the things that have meaning to him already. He handled it really well and I was proud of him. Then we had a fight over the new tv because we need to get an HDTV cable box and he didn’t listen to me when I told him. Just thought he could hook it up and then worry about it. but nope not going to work without an updated cable box hun lol. So we had to hook the old tv back up until we can get the new cable box this week. Oh well, at least it allowed us to pull the tv out and then I was able to clean the dust bunnies lurking back there.

Sometimes I forget to look at the bright side and be grateful for all the many blessings in my life.  I am truly fortunate and even though I’m still missing passion in my life, I know that either that changes in the very near future or difficult decisions will have to be made.  I refuse to live a life without great sex and passion any longer, no matter what.  Maybe it’s not important to some people but it is to me.  I have been patient for far longer than I should have.  But we have been through so much together and there is so much love between us.  If I could have the passion, joy and great sex with H that I had with P, I really don’t think I could ask for anything more.

Men and Women As Friends

Can men and women actually just be friends? Or will sex and attraction always get in the way?

I just found out last night that I wasn’t invited to my close guy friend C’s wedding! He told me about it 2 years ago and asked me to save the date. And why was I not invited? Because while I have always thought of him as a little brother, he thinks I’m hot n obviously she’s insecure. But he doesn’t have a lot of friends or family and we’ve been close for about 7 years. I treated him and his Mom like family.

I knew he was attracted to me but I’ve known him for so long and it’s never been a problem. I’ve always been married and he totally respected that. My Dad n I met him n his Mom thru a bereavement group n all became friends. C n I were really close. My husband doesn’t like him that much but he has never said don’t b friends!

The worst part is that he didn’t even have the courage to call me and let me know. Just invited my Dad and his girlfriend! Are you friggin kidding me? I texted him and he ignored me. Then he texted the next day and apologized. Said they have been battling for months over me!?! I had no idea and I still don’t get it. There was never ever anything between us except friendship. She must be extremely jealous and really insecure to not want me invited. It’s just so crazy and I’m hurt. I’ve only met her a few times but I was always very kind to her. She had gastric bypass surgery because she was really heavy. She’s about half the size she used to be and I thought that was awesome. I just don’t get some women. I am not a waifish supermodel! WTF?!?

Well that friendship is flushed down the tubes. If he had just told me how she felt, I would’ve been hurt but it’s her day and I would never want to upset anyone’s wedding day, no matter how silly it is. But then to invite my Dad?!? My Dad had no idea I wasn’t invited when he agreed to go. I’m just over it. I actually used to invite them places cause he doesn’t have many friends and I felt bad.

And I never said anything about the fact that he dated 2 other women at the same time he was dating her! They deserve each other lol!

mental disorders and mass shootings

This is hysterical! It’s so rare that you can actually be educated on an important topic while laughing as hard as I did watching this! Great post my friend 🙂

facing off with the big d

john oliver brings sanity to thr discussion on mental disorders and their connection to mass shootings. did you know that the attempt at improving mental health care goes back to jfk in the early 60’s? i didn’t. crazy.

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Family, Grief and Strength

It’s been 2 1/2 weeks since my Mother-in-law died very suddenly and unexpectedly.  In a week she went from being completely healthy to dying of stage 4 ovarian cancer.  The only blessing is she never really knew she was sick.  By the time we knew it was cancer, she was already in hospice.

I’ve just been exhausted physically and emotionally. We’re all Catholic so the wake was Friday day n night. Then Sat morning was the funeral mass at church then the burial. Then we had a lunch at a restaurant. We rented the whole place so it was nice.

Neither of my husband’s brothers or sister are really spiritual (I have lovingly called them heathens for years n my Mother in law used to laugh lol) so I planned the funeral mass. It was beautiful and sweet. Just what she would’ve wanted. No hypocritical church bullshit lol. The priest looked like and sounded exactly like the actor from those old 7 up commercials. My H said his Mom would’ve really liked him.  I thought so too.

I was sitting there in the front on the aisle because I had to do a reading because my brother-in-law changed his mind which I understood.  It really hit me right them, standing near her covered casket and I started crying silently, the tears pouring down my face.  My H took my hand and squeezed while putting his arm around me.  Then of course I felt horrible that he had to comfort me because it was his Mom we lost. But just when I felt so weak and broken, I turned around and looked back at the church.  There a few rows back was my family!!   I knew they would all come to the wake. But I was so surprised and happy to see my Dad, his girlfriend, my brothers n sis in laws, even my cousin at the church. My Mom would’ve wanted that but I was so grateful and it gave me so much comfort and strength.  I know they are all very busy, except my Dad who’s retired, so the fact that they were all there for me?  It helped my heart tremendously and lifted my spirit more than words can ever say.  That’s why even if we drive each other nuts or piss each other off, it doesn’t matter.  When push comes to shove, we are always there for each other and that will never change.  I know how truly blessed and lucky I am to have them in my life.  I’m going to my brother’s house later for a birthday party for my nephew.  They will all be there and I will definitely tell them since I don’t tell them nearly enough how much they mean to me lol.

Life is so short! All that matters is love, family, friends, laughter, joy n yes passion n great sex lol. I know everything does happen for a reason and I am so grateful that I was here for my H when he needed me most. I will continue to be here for him.  But if January comes and there’s still not improvement in the sexless part of our marriage? I will not be living without love, sex and passion and that is non-negotiable.

Magnetism: Being a Magnet for Narcissists and Why Narcissists Can Be So Magnetic

Source: Are You a Magnet for Narcissists? 

from https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/

This is an extremely insightful article. The part that really hits home with me is this:

“Narcissists absolutely hate authenticity. They do not know how to be authentic, and they long to be authentic, burn and yearn for it, but they can’t be it, so they hate it. It is kryptonite to their superman/woman self/non-self.

Their main tools of controlling others are blame, shame, criticism, censorship, and anything else which makes another person adapt their self expression to suit others. They encourage political correctness, politeness, social niceties, and compromise in others to suit them. They use emotional blackmail to get you to willingly do what they want you to do. The prize for your subordination is that they may use you again.

So speak your mind. Express your emotions. Smile when you’re happy, frown when you’re angry, cry when you’re sad. Don’t say you’re fine if you’re not, say exactly what you are really feeling. Ignore their attempts to shut you up. If they have a tantrum, scream louder if you want to, or walk out and leave them to it, but don’t let their display of grandiose and overwhelming emotions stop you from expressing yourself.

They are not a child, don’t treat them like one, and don’t become their parent. Don’t be sensitive to their needs if it means being insensitive to your own. They are not, no matter what they tell you, sensitive to your needs in any other way than to use your needs against you to manipulate you. Put yourself first, because what they want is for you to put them first, and to put yourself last or even better forget about yourself completely.

You being you, all of you, uncensored, is a frightening and horrifying monster to a Narcissist. Because you are being real, and real people scare the shit out of Narcissists. They are not being real, they know that they are not being real, even if most of that knowledge is buried in their subconscious and they think that they are very real. They think everyone else is as fake as they are, in fact they think others are more fake than they are. They are their reference point for the world. They can’t express genuine emotions, or voice their real thoughts, and they apply this to others. They don’t actually know how to be real, and the very thought of it scares them. So when you are real and genuine, it stirs up the real person buried deep within them, and they live in fear of their real self because they don’t know who their real self is, it is unknown, and the fear of the unknown chills them to the marrow. This fear of their real self is the spur which governs their entire life, and all of their subsequent behavior is an attempt to escape and kill this real self off, and replace it with an idealized self of their own creation.

The ultimate lesson and gift that a relationship with a Narcissist gives you is this… Be yourself, all of you.

What is a Narcissist – someone who doesn’t know who their real self is. What do you get from a relationship ship with a Narcissist – the ability to see what not being yourself can do to you and to others.

The ultimate goal of a Narcissist is to be superhuman. To escape being human. The purpose of life is to be human. If we were not meant to be human, we would not be having a being human experience. The purpose of death is to be super human. As in we cast off the mortal, human being, coil and that’s that… the bit afterwards depends on your beliefs.

Be yourself. All of yourself, the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the positive and the negative. Embrace it all into one. Only you know who that is and how to be you. That’s your gift. That is what makes life worth living. And don’t forget you’re a human being… mistakes are a part of that, make them, learn from them, regret them, and be kind to yourself, even when you’re not.”

Why Are Narcissists Sexy?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201304/why-are-narcissists-so-darn-sexy

The classic Greek mythical figure, Narcissus, is known for having fallen in love with himself. He wasn’t the only one, though. Everyone who knew him, including the Nymph Echo, became similarly smitten. We associate the personality trait, and disorder, of narcissism as involving excessive self-love but rarely consider the fact that they may exert a magnetic pull on others as well. This magnetic pull only lasts so long, however, because the superficiality of the truly narcissistic individual causes the relationship to wear thin. At that point, they are forced to find a new partner who, again, may only stick around for so long.

Because their long-term prospects in relationships tend NOT TO BE VERY GOOD, narcissists become the masters of the good first impression. They know how to manipulate their own self-presentation so that they seem desirable and attractive. It’s possible that, like Narcissus, their disordered personality traits stem from their high intrinsic levels of physical attractiveness. However, it’s also possible that because of their narcissistic tendencies, they spend a great deal of time, money, and effort on making themselves look as attractive as they possibly can.

Love Harder: What It Means To Be The Vulnerable One In A Relationship by Paul Hudson

Source: Love Harder: What It Means To Be The Vulnerable One In A Relationship by Paul Hudson

reblogged from https://curiousevelynseeks.wordpress.com/2015/10/08/love-harder-what-it-means-to-be-the-vulnerable-one-in-a-relationship-by-paul-hudson/

This is a great article from Ev’s blog about being vulnerable in a relationship.  It’s definitely scary and can make you a little crazy, especially if you are the more sensitive one in the relationship. It takes courage to put yourself out there, knowing you could be rejected and trusting that it will be okay. But I agree, both people have to allow themselves to be vulnerable to reach a strong, healthy and lasting love.

Sick of this Troll

I didn’t suffer enough? Thanks! Is that from the bible? Book according to trolls? Lol Sitting in judgement of others, stalking and harassing them keeps you much busier than your friends know doesn’t it? U r the worst type of bully and the most pathetic kind of coward. Keeping ur blog private while harassing others who have the courage to be honest about themselves and their lives? Good n bad. U need serious help, week after week sending me disgusting, hateful messages? Anyone that lashes out at strangers and then hides from the repercussions deserves only pity. I know u enjoy verbally sparring and usually I do not choose to engage you. But you just never stop hating.

Don’t you get tired of pissing in the wind over and over and over again??  It’s to the point where it’s become boring.  Do you EVER run out of hate? You must get tired of your own self-righteous holier than thou bullshit?  I mean, c’mon let’s be honest. It’s pretty obvious you passed the batshit crazy exit a few rest stops back Nephila.  You are aware of this right?  Spend time with your kids or your husband.  Maybe if you stopped being such a complete psycho, you would be a happier person.  Anyone that considers you a good or decent person obviously hasn’t read any of your love letters.  You are sick and you really do need help.   Please do me a favor and do not ever bother coming back here again. Since you now bore me, your putrid letters get deleted without ever being seen.

Now you are just a sad and pathetic shell of a woman.  You have absolutely no right to judge me and you never will.

Matthew 7:1-3: Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

This is from Wayne Stiles:

“Jesus wasn’t confused in his teaching. He didn’t mean we should never make a judgment about right and wrong. He meant we shouldn’t do it hypocritically.

Seeing someone else’s faults should make us examine our own lives. We know no one is perfect, but we expect it anyway. Except in ourselves. We often excuse our own sin because we claim God’s grace. But then we turn around and demand others be perfect—a standard we ourselves don’t meet. This is precisely what Jesus was warning against.

The grace we freely claim for ourselves we should also extend to others.
The fact is, we never know all the facts.

How do we know the idiot driver didn’t just lose his spouse last week?
How do we know the rude saleswoman didn’t just discover she has cancer?
How do we know the Christian who cussed didn’t just accept Jesus and has no clue how to walk with God?
Wouldn’t it be better to tap the brakes on our judgment—especially when we don’t know all the facts? Before we call into question someone else’s walk with God, we should scrutinize our own.”

Now I know I am not perfect or anywhere near that.  But I am a good, kind and loving person who treats others as I would like to be treated. I have made mistakes but you are a pathetic excuse for a woman. Frankly, I am sick to death of your constant and undeserved harassment.  It’s absolutely ridiculous that you just keep commenting.  I stopped reading them a LONG time ago, so it’s a complete waste of your time.  

You have chosen the WORST example of an abusive, narcissistic, selfish wife and mother and made her the archangel of your cause.  I’m sorry but she’s not a good Mother or Wife.  Just one example?  You know how most parents, including P, have their kids schools decal stickers on the back of their cars (now they use magnets)? Especially if it’s a prestigious school? She has a Spartan Race competition decal.  Cause that’s most important to her.  Not her kids, her husband or her family. She blew off parent/teacher night to go to the gym!!! No woman deserves to be cheated on. But you picked the wrong horse lol! Get over it and let it go already u sick demented troll. Nothing u say matters.

If you took all the time you spent harassing me with these letters, week after week, month after month, you could volunteer a few hours a month at a local charity.  I used to do it through out church and it helped me stay grounded after my Mom died.  I actually have to get back into doing that so thanks for reminding me what matters. Just stop trolling and get a friggin life lady!  It’s time.

Taking Chances & Change

I agree that we’re never totally prepared and ready for changing our lives. Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, take a deep breath and jump!!
I think we just have to have faith in ourselves and trust that we will get where we are meant to be. I don’t want to have any regrets. So I am glad that I’ve loved and been loved. Right now I don’t know where or who I will end up with, but I am determined to go where the love and great sex is!

Trauma Bonding- What is it? Do I Have One? And Can It Be An Addiction??

from www.abuseandrelationships.org

Trauma Bonding

Bonding is a biological and emotional process that makes people more important to each other over time. Unlike love, trust, or attraction, bonding is not something that can be lost. It is cumulative and only gets greater, never smaller. Bonding grows with spending time together, living together, eating together, making love together, having children together, and being together during stress or difficulty. Bad times bond people as strongly as good times, perhaps more so.

Bonding is in part why it is harder to leave an abusive relationship the longer it continues. Bonding makes it hard to enforce boundaries, because it is much harder to keep away from people to whom we have bonded. In leaving a long relationship, it is not always useful to judge the correctness of the decision by how hard it is, because it will always be hard.

Moreover, experiencing together extreme situations and extreme feelings tends to bond people in a special way.Trauma bonding, a term developed by Patrick Carnes, is the misuse of fear, excitement, sexual feelings, and sexual physiology to entangle another person. Many primary aggressors tend toward extreme behavior and risk taking, and trauma bonding is a factor in their relationships.

Strangely, growing up in an abusive home makes later unhealthy situations have more holding power. This has a biological basis beyond any cognitive learning. It is trauma in one’s history that makes for trauma bonding. Because trauma (and developmental trauma or early relational trauma is epidemic) causes numbing around many aspects of intimacy, traumatized people often respond positively to a dangerous person or situation because it makes them feel. It is neither rational nor irrational. If survivors can come to see that part of the attraction is, while very unwanted, a natural process, they may be able to understand those feelings and manage the situation more intentionally.

An excellent book on the effects of trauma (and repair) is The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk MD

Intense relationships also tend to hijack all of a survivor’s relating capacity. It is like a state of being burnt out. First, while it is very easy to become attached to a very chaotic and inconsistent person, it is simply not possible to form a consistent internal object representation (feeling memory) about them. When separated from the intense partner, the urge to make contact is usually intense because it is a stable feeling memory (or internal object) that makes separation from an important other person tolerable in any circumstance.

Second. the survivor can come to find that it can be almost impossible to relate to anyone, even family or old friends, except superficially. There is a biological craving for intensity that no normal relationship will satisfy. This provides a feeling of being totally alone, and totally empty. At first, only going back to the primary aggressor can overcome it. It would be normal in this state to believe that something is horribly wrong with leaving (even if it seems equally true that something is horribly wrong with staying. If it can be understood that abstinence from unnatural intensity will eventually restore normal relating capacity, the period of distress can be better endured.

What Is Trauma Bonding?

Everyone deals with stress, but when it comes with danger, fear, anxiety or risk, it can become traumatic. When this trauma is tied to a relationship, it can form a “trauma bond.”

Trauma bonding happens when someone uses fear, sexual feelings, sexual physiology and excitement to entrap someone else. It is a result of continuing cycles of abuse where alternating reward and mistreatment form an emotional bond that is not easy to break. This bond is basically a compulsive relationship fostering specific patterns of compulsive behavior.

Because those in these types of relationships have experienced extreme situations and feelings, it becomes particularly difficult to get out and away from the abuse. A trauma bond often becomes a life pattern which is repeated. After creating one, you are likely to have other similar relationships with comparable patterns. Trauma bonds can also form almost instantly and last “forever,” surviving even the death of the abuser. Even though the relationship comes with violence or degrading actions, the victim is generally extremely loyal to the abuser.

Situations that create trauma bonds often have some common characteristics. Strong trauma bonds are often present when the relationship has certain elements, such as:

• Abuse of spirit
• Recurring cycles of abuse
• Danger
• Seduction and betrayal
• High intensity without real intimacy
• No apparent way to get out
• Abuse of power
• Abuse of intimacy
• Failure of the victim to protect him- or herself
• Growing fear

How Can Trauma Bonds Be an Addiction?

Trauma bonds are often born from a biological need for intensity and can become an addiction, much like alcohol, drugs or sex. Victims become addicted to these relationships because they are both compelling and mood altering. When people have a trauma bond that has become addictive, they continue the relationship even though there are negative consequences, they lose the ability to decide to leave the other person, and they obsess over the relationship. A trauma bond addiction also results in losing sense of the right priorities in life to keep the relationship and obsession with it going.

Unfortunately, an addictive relationship can bring out other compulsive behaviors, such as alcohol and drug abuse, gambling, compulsive working, sex addiction and eating disorders. In fact, it is rare to come across a traumatic bond without other addictions woven in and those with addiction are generally vulnerable to traumatic bonding.

Do I Have a Trauma Bond?

Identifying the existence of trauma bonds in your life is an important first step. To recover from trauma bonding, the victim has to accept the relationship is not healthy and view the compulsive patterns as a problem. These patterns could include the following:

• Obsessing about people who have hurt you, even if they are no longer in your life
• Trusting people who consistently let you down
• Staying loyal to those who have betrayed you
• Putting the abuser and/or the abusive relationship ahead of other relationships
• Attempting to continue relationships with those who have hurt you
• Going out of your way to help others who have abused you
• Keeping quiet about abuse or exploitation

It’s not easy to admit that you’re in an unhealthy relationship or that you are addicted to the narcissist or person who treats you like crap. So it’s extremely difficult but important to acknowledge that you are in fact bonded by the trauma. Only then can you start to set yourself free and take back the rest of your life. It’s not easy but it is absolutely 100% worth it to be truly loved, cherished and accepted for who you are.

4 facts about trauma-bonding in abusive relationships

Such a powerful article!

“When we do summon up the strength to leave, the trauma-bond manifests itself as an intense longing for our abusive ex. Sometimes we return to them because we genuinely feel we love them, we need them, and we miss them (I did, many times).

However, this is an illusion. It is the trauma-bond speaking to us. Those that have lived with domestic abuse are often more resilient, strong, resourceful and intelligent than their abuser allows them to believe. We are certainly stronger than our abuser: just look at everything we have done just to survive!”

Source: 4 facts about trauma-bonding in abusive relationships